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Criticism is not a motivator.

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

"Cutting" is a visible sign to the world that you are hurting.

If it  was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called "labour".

The more 2 parents differ in their approaches to discipline, the more likely it leads to trouble for the child.

"The thing that impresses me most about North America is the way parents obey their children"    (King Edward VII , 1841-1910)

Parenting style matters - a lot!

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

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Tactics for Temper Tantrums (part # 9)

    Early Intervention Intervene early, either before the tantrum starts or as soon as possible after it starts. Most children do not go from behaving appropriately to having a tantrum in a matter of seconds. More often, they first engage in inappropriate behaviours such as talking back, crying, whining or yelling. In most cases, you probably know when a tantrum is about to occur. Whenever you have the gut feeling that IT is about […]

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Tactics for Temper Tantrums (part 8)

    Concession Sometimes nothing works. And sometimes for reasons of sheer equality or common sense or both, the parent finds it necessary to concede. After all, we’re not our childlren’s adversaries; we’re their advocates. Sometimes, both interests are seerved by giving in. Giving in to a tantrum now and then will not foster a juvenile delinquent. Is the damage done by one extra cookie worth half an hour of wear and tear on both […]

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Tactics for Temper Tantrums (part 7)

    Retreat Sometimes there is nothing else but to retreat. Let the child know you will absolutely not be drawn in. This approach is justified when the stimulus to the tantrum is so absurd that it is not worth any effort  (such as the one that frequently occurs when someone fails to cut the sandwich in precisely the correct size pieces). No parent should be expected to wasted much imaginative effort on such minuscule […]

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Tactics for Temper Tantrums (part 6)

Diversionary Tactic Try to divert the child’s interest to something else. Pick up his favourite book and offer to read, or bring him a toy he likes. Children, especially young ones, have such short attention spans that they can often be distracted from their own performances. If this doesn’t work, try sitting down and actively playing with one of the child’s toys yourself. Make comments like, “Gee, I’d forgotten how much fun this puzzle is. […]

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Tactics for Temper Tantrums (part 5)

    Bait & Switch For the child with a good sense of humour (usually an older child or three or more), bait and switch is worth a try. The parent says something like, “I can see you’re angry, so whatever you do, don’t smile. Oh no! I think I see a smile! Don’t let your mouth smile!” It’s amazing how often this con can be repeated successfully.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Our psychiatrist recommended Rick to help us sort out behaviour management issues for our autistic son. He was an invaluable help.”

(C.C. – Sarnia)