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The mistake that Sharon and I both made is we never set any boundaries.  (Ozzy Osbourne)

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

"To be a man, a boy must see a man."  (J.R. Moehringer)

"Cutting" is a visible sign to the world that you are hurting.

Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

A tantruming toddler is a little ball of writhing muscle and incredible strength. It's like trying to carry a greased pig past a slop bucket.

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

If it  was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called "labour".

"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

"Parents aren't the cause of ADHD, but they are part of the solution." (Kenny Handleman, M.D.)

Hurt people hurt people.

Children today are under enormous pressures rarely experienced by their parents or grandparents. Many of today's children are being enticed to grow up too quickly and are encountering challenges for which they are totally unprepared.

The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. (Peggy O'Mara)

The more 2 parents differ in their approaches to discipline, the more likely it leads to trouble for the child.

"The thing that impresses me most about North America is the way parents obey their children"    (King Edward VII , 1841-1910)

Simple rules adhered to when children are young can prevent more serious problems later.

Wouldn't it be nice if children would simply listen and learn.

Children fare better when expectations on them are clear and firm.

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

Good parenting requires sacrifice. Childhood lasts for only a few brief years , but it should be given priority while it is passing before your eyes

If you are headed in the wrong direction as a parent - you are allowed to make a U-turn.

The best inheritance  parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

There has been an explosion in the prescribing of medication for very young children, particularly preschool and kindergarten boys (Juli Zito , Univ. of Maryland)

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

Early intervention is always better than crisis management - but it is never too late to do the right thing.

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

If there is no relationship - nothing else matters !

"Moody" and "unpredictable" are adjectives parents will often use when referring to their teenagers.

Parenting style matters - a lot!

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless.  ( Tori Amos)

If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

Being a parent of a teenager can cure a person of narcissism.

Criticism is not a motivator.

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

Learn more.

Links

These are helpful resources for your family:

Online:

www.kidsmentalhealth.ca

www.abacuslist.ca

www.adoption.on.ca

Suggested Reading:

The Explosive Child by Ross W. Green Ph.D.

The Boy Who Was Raised As a Dog by Bruce Perry M.D.

Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson Ph.D.

1-2-3 Magic by Thomas Phelan Ph.D.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“We were so naive. We thought our son’s poor behaviour was just a phase he was passing through. Thankfully you led us ‘out of the wilderness'”

(N.S. – London)