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The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

"To be a man, a boy must see a man."  (J.R. Moehringer)

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

Simple rules adhered to when children are young can prevent more serious problems later.

Early intervention is always better than crisis management - but it is never too late to do the right thing.

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. (Peggy O'Mara)

Being a parent of a teenager can cure a person of narcissism.

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

"Cutting" is a visible sign to the world that you are hurting.

A tantruming toddler is a little ball of writhing muscle and incredible strength. It's like trying to carry a greased pig past a slop bucket.

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

Parenting style matters - a lot!

Hurt people hurt people.

The more 2 parents differ in their approaches to discipline, the more likely it leads to trouble for the child.

Good parenting requires sacrifice. Childhood lasts for only a few brief years , but it should be given priority while it is passing before your eyes

Criticism is not a motivator.

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

If you are headed in the wrong direction as a parent - you are allowed to make a U-turn.

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

"The thing that impresses me most about North America is the way parents obey their children"    (King Edward VII , 1841-1910)

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

Wouldn't it be nice if children would simply listen and learn.

Children today are under enormous pressures rarely experienced by their parents or grandparents. Many of today's children are being enticed to grow up too quickly and are encountering challenges for which they are totally unprepared.

The best inheritance  parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

Children fare better when expectations on them are clear and firm.

The mistake that Sharon and I both made is we never set any boundaries.  (Ozzy Osbourne)

If there is no relationship - nothing else matters !

If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

If it  was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called "labour".

"Parents aren't the cause of ADHD, but they are part of the solution." (Kenny Handleman, M.D.)

There has been an explosion in the prescribing of medication for very young children, particularly preschool and kindergarten boys (Juli Zito , Univ. of Maryland)

"Moody" and "unpredictable" are adjectives parents will often use when referring to their teenagers.

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless.  ( Tori Amos)

Learn more.

Links

These are helpful resources for your family:

Online:

www.kidsmentalhealth.ca

www.abacuslist.ca

www.adoption.on.ca

Suggested Reading:

The Explosive Child by Ross W. Green Ph.D.

The Boy Who Was Raised As a Dog by Bruce Perry M.D.

Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson Ph.D.

1-2-3 Magic by Thomas Phelan Ph.D.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“We are foster parents who took in a 13 year old girl (going on 18!) and she ran us through the wringer. Rick helped us learn how to set limits that made the difference.”

(G.E. – Strathroy)