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"Moody" and "unpredictable" are adjectives parents will often use when referring to their teenagers.

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

Criticism is not a motivator.

The more 2 parents differ in their approaches to discipline, the more likely it leads to trouble for the child.

"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

"To be a man, a boy must see a man."  (J.R. Moehringer)

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. (Peggy O'Mara)

"Parents aren't the cause of ADHD, but they are part of the solution." (Kenny Handleman, M.D.)

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

Children today are under enormous pressures rarely experienced by their parents or grandparents. Many of today's children are being enticed to grow up too quickly and are encountering challenges for which they are totally unprepared.

If it  was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called "labour".

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

The mistake that Sharon and I both made is we never set any boundaries.  (Ozzy Osbourne)

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

"Cutting" is a visible sign to the world that you are hurting.

The best inheritance  parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.

Hurt people hurt people.

Children fare better when expectations on them are clear and firm.

Good parenting requires sacrifice. Childhood lasts for only a few brief years , but it should be given priority while it is passing before your eyes

Simple rules adhered to when children are young can prevent more serious problems later.

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

"The thing that impresses me most about North America is the way parents obey their children"    (King Edward VII , 1841-1910)

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

Parenting style matters - a lot!

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

If there is no relationship - nothing else matters !

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

A tantruming toddler is a little ball of writhing muscle and incredible strength. It's like trying to carry a greased pig past a slop bucket.

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless.  ( Tori Amos)

Early intervention is always better than crisis management - but it is never too late to do the right thing.

Wouldn't it be nice if children would simply listen and learn.

If you are headed in the wrong direction as a parent - you are allowed to make a U-turn.

Being a parent of a teenager can cure a person of narcissism.

There has been an explosion in the prescribing of medication for very young children, particularly preschool and kindergarten boys (Juli Zito , Univ. of Maryland)

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

Learn more.

Links

These are helpful resources for your family:

Online:

www.kidsmentalhealth.ca

www.abacuslist.ca

www.adoption.on.ca

Suggested Reading:

The Explosive Child by Ross W. Green Ph.D.

The Boy Who Was Raised As a Dog by Bruce Perry M.D.

Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson Ph.D.

1-2-3 Magic by Thomas Phelan Ph.D.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Our daughter was the joy of our life until she turned 13, then all hell broke loose. Rick helped us understand what was happening to her and we made some adjustments that helped us get through it. She’s now in University and doing well.”

(D.A. – St. Thomas)