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If there is no relationship - nothing else matters !

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

"Moody" and "unpredictable" are adjectives parents will often use when referring to their teenagers.

If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

There has been an explosion in the prescribing of medication for very young children, particularly preschool and kindergarten boys (Juli Zito , Univ. of Maryland)

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

Hurt people hurt people.

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

Wouldn't it be nice if children would simply listen and learn.

Early intervention is always better than crisis management - but it is never too late to do the right thing.

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless.  ( Tori Amos)

"The thing that impresses me most about North America is the way parents obey their children"    (King Edward VII , 1841-1910)

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

A tantruming toddler is a little ball of writhing muscle and incredible strength. It's like trying to carry a greased pig past a slop bucket.

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

The more 2 parents differ in their approaches to discipline, the more likely it leads to trouble for the child.

The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. (Peggy O'Mara)

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

Good parenting requires sacrifice. Childhood lasts for only a few brief years , but it should be given priority while it is passing before your eyes

Children fare better when expectations on them are clear and firm.

"Cutting" is a visible sign to the world that you are hurting.

If it  was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called "labour".

If you are headed in the wrong direction as a parent - you are allowed to make a U-turn.

The best inheritance  parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

Criticism is not a motivator.

Parenting style matters - a lot!

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

Children today are under enormous pressures rarely experienced by their parents or grandparents. Many of today's children are being enticed to grow up too quickly and are encountering challenges for which they are totally unprepared.

The mistake that Sharon and I both made is we never set any boundaries.  (Ozzy Osbourne)

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

"To be a man, a boy must see a man."  (J.R. Moehringer)

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

"Parents aren't the cause of ADHD, but they are part of the solution." (Kenny Handleman, M.D.)

"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

Simple rules adhered to when children are young can prevent more serious problems later.

Being a parent of a teenager can cure a person of narcissism.

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

Learn more.

Links

These are helpful resources for your family:

Online:

www.kidsmentalhealth.ca

www.abacuslist.ca

www.adoption.on.ca

Suggested Reading:

The Explosive Child by Ross W. Green Ph.D.

The Boy Who Was Raised As a Dog by Bruce Perry M.D.

Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson Ph.D.

1-2-3 Magic by Thomas Phelan Ph.D.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“You have changed our life! Thanks, it needed changing!”

(T.N. – London)