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"To be a man, a boy must see a man."  (J.R. Moehringer)

Hurt people hurt people.

The more 2 parents differ in their approaches to discipline, the more likely it leads to trouble for the child.

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

"Moody" and "unpredictable" are adjectives parents will often use when referring to their teenagers.

Simple rules adhered to when children are young can prevent more serious problems later.

If it  was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called "labour".

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless.  ( Tori Amos)

Being a parent of a teenager can cure a person of narcissism.

If there is no relationship - nothing else matters !

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. (Peggy O'Mara)

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

A tantruming toddler is a little ball of writhing muscle and incredible strength. It's like trying to carry a greased pig past a slop bucket.

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

Children fare better when expectations on them are clear and firm.

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

Good parenting requires sacrifice. Childhood lasts for only a few brief years , but it should be given priority while it is passing before your eyes

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

"The thing that impresses me most about North America is the way parents obey their children"    (King Edward VII , 1841-1910)

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

Parenting style matters - a lot!

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

The mistake that Sharon and I both made is we never set any boundaries.  (Ozzy Osbourne)

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

There has been an explosion in the prescribing of medication for very young children, particularly preschool and kindergarten boys (Juli Zito , Univ. of Maryland)

If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

"Cutting" is a visible sign to the world that you are hurting.

Wouldn't it be nice if children would simply listen and learn.

"Parents aren't the cause of ADHD, but they are part of the solution." (Kenny Handleman, M.D.)

Early intervention is always better than crisis management - but it is never too late to do the right thing.

Children today are under enormous pressures rarely experienced by their parents or grandparents. Many of today's children are being enticed to grow up too quickly and are encountering challenges for which they are totally unprepared.

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

The best inheritance  parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.

If you are headed in the wrong direction as a parent - you are allowed to make a U-turn.

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

Criticism is not a motivator.

"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

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About Rick

Rick is a retired school teacher with 32 years classroom experience. The vast majority of those years was working with special needs children ranging in age from 4 to 21 and diagnosed with conditions such as:

  • Learning disabled
  • Psychiatric disorders eg. ADHD, Tourettes syndrome, conduct disorder, autism, obsessive compulsive disorder, etc
  • Developmentally disabled
  • Emotionally disturbed
  • Young offenders
  • Chronically & Terminally ill
  • Physically disabled

He has taught classrooms within:

  • Children’s mental health treatment centres
  • Detention centres
  • Hospitals
  • Residential institutions
  • Regular schools
  • professor at Fanshawe College

Rick began his own consulting business in 1995 dedicated to training parents how to assess and manage their own children’s behaviour problems in their own home. A significant part of this business is conducting workshops for:

  • School boards
  • Children’s Aid Societies
  • Community colleges
  • Day care centres
  • Church groups

Rick and his wife Marlene have 2 grown children and are long time foster parents who have opened their home to many special needs children ranging in age from newborns to teens.

Rick’s entire professional life has been devoted to helping kids who have significant behaviour problems. His goal has been to take the theories developed by the academics and figure out practical ways to implement them in ordinary homes and classrooms.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you [...]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First [...]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain [...]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Implementing Rick’s techniques and adhering to them is exhausting, but it is a healthy exhaustion rather than the detrimental exhaustion I used to experience.”

(B.F. – Woodstock)