Determine the Type of Tantrum Tantrums come in 2 varieties: “development” and “manipulative. The terrible two’s is all about the “developmental” type. These are typically very intense as the child literally has lost control of himself. With increasing age, this type usually gives way to the “manipulative” tantrum that typically has less intensity and more of a conscious, planned quality. It is not always easy to distinguish between the two types. The reaction […]
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Early Intervention Intervene early, either before the tantrum starts or as soon as possible after it starts. Most children do not go from behaving appropriately to having a tantrum in a matter of seconds. More often, they first engage in inappropriate behaviours such as talking back, crying, whining or yelling. In most cases, you probably know when a tantrum is about to occur. Whenever you have the gut feeling that IT is about […]
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Concession Sometimes nothing works. And sometimes for reasons of sheer equality or common sense or both, the parent finds it necessary to concede. After all, we’re not our childlren’s adversaries; we’re their advocates. Sometimes, both interests are seerved by giving in. Giving in to a tantrum now and then will not foster a juvenile delinquent. Is the damage done by one extra cookie worth half an hour of wear and tear on both […]
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Retreat Sometimes there is nothing else but to retreat. Let the child know you will absolutely not be drawn in. This approach is justified when the stimulus to the tantrum is so absurd that it is not worth any effort (such as the one that frequently occurs when someone fails to cut the sandwich in precisely the correct size pieces). No parent should be expected to wasted much imaginative effort on such minuscule […]
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Diversionary Tactic Try to divert the child’s interest to something else. Pick up his favourite book and offer to read, or bring him a toy he likes. Children, especially young ones, have such short attention spans that they can often be distracted from their own performances. If this doesn’t work, try sitting down and actively playing with one of the child’s toys yourself. Make comments like, “Gee, I’d forgotten how much fun this puzzle is. […]
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