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Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

Parenting style matters - a lot!

"Rules without relationship leads to rebellion" (Josh McDowell)

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

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Tactics for Temper Tantrums (part 10)

    Determine the Type of Tantrum Tantrums come in 2 varieties: “development” and “manipulative. The terrible two’s is all about the “developmental” type. These are typically very intense as the child literally has lost control of himself. With increasing age, this type usually gives way to the “manipulative” tantrum that typically has less intensity and more of a conscious, planned quality. It is not always easy to distinguish between the two types. The reaction […]

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Tactics for Temper Tantrums (part # 9)

    Early Intervention Intervene early, either before the tantrum starts or as soon as possible after it starts. Most children do not go from behaving appropriately to having a tantrum in a matter of seconds. More often, they first engage in inappropriate behaviours such as talking back, crying, whining or yelling. In most cases, you probably know when a tantrum is about to occur. Whenever you have the gut feeling that IT is about […]

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Tactics for Temper Tantrums (part 8)

    Concession Sometimes nothing works. And sometimes for reasons of sheer equality or common sense or both, the parent finds it necessary to concede. After all, we’re not our childlren’s adversaries; we’re their advocates. Sometimes, both interests are seerved by giving in. Giving in to a tantrum now and then will not foster a juvenile delinquent. Is the damage done by one extra cookie worth half an hour of wear and tear on both […]

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Tactics for Temper Tantrums (part 7)

    Retreat Sometimes there is nothing else but to retreat. Let the child know you will absolutely not be drawn in. This approach is justified when the stimulus to the tantrum is so absurd that it is not worth any effort  (such as the one that frequently occurs when someone fails to cut the sandwich in precisely the correct size pieces). No parent should be expected to wasted much imaginative effort on such minuscule […]

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Tactics for Temper Tantrums (part 6)

Diversionary Tactic Try to divert the child’s interest to something else. Pick up his favourite book and offer to read, or bring him a toy he likes. Children, especially young ones, have such short attention spans that they can often be distracted from their own performances. If this doesn’t work, try sitting down and actively playing with one of the child’s toys yourself. Make comments like, “Gee, I’d forgotten how much fun this puzzle is. […]

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Our daughter was the joy of our life until she turned 13, then all hell broke loose. Rick helped us understand what was happening to her and we made some adjustments that helped us get through it. She’s now in University and doing well.”

(D.A. – St. Thomas)