Tactics for Temper Tantrums (part 10)
Determine the Type of Tantrum
Tantrums come in 2 varieties: “development” and “manipulative. The terrible two’s is all about the “developmental” type. These are typically very intense as the child literally has lost control of himself. With increasing age, this type usually gives way to the “manipulative” tantrum that typically has less intensity and more of a conscious, planned quality. It is not always easy to distinguish between the two types. The reaction of the parent is sometimes a clue as to what type of tantrum the child is having because with a “developmental” tantrum we tend to feel a little sorry for the child. A “manipulative” tantrum tends to make us feel angry.
The “developmental” type requires understanding and involvement – the child cannot control himself. The “manipulative” type is done to control the adult and it’s sole purpose is for the child to get his way. T
his kid MUST not win this type of tantrum.
