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The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

If there is no relationship - nothing else matters !

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

"Moody" and "unpredictable" are adjectives parents will often use when referring to their teenagers.

A tantruming toddler is a little ball of writhing muscle and incredible strength. It's like trying to carry a greased pig past a slop bucket.

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TRACKING – a tool for teaching appropriate behaviour

Many children with FASD have difficulty with sequencing and seeing cause and effect. Life seems to be a series of randomly unrelated events. “Tracking” means to help the child recall an event or situation and its resulting consequences. Bedtime is a good time for “tracking” as he may be more ready to listen (a teachable moment). We want him / her to begin to connect the dots” of life. It may need to be repeated many times before the child begins to make the connections. It is particularly useful for reoccurring problem times: eg. church, shopping, going for a walk, playing with peers, etc. It is also valuable to “track” events where the child made “good” choices as you are able to reinforce those times as well. It is very important that your tone be  supportive rather than harsh during the tracking sessions in order to retain the “teachable moment”.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Our psychiatrist recommended Rick to help us sort out behaviour management issues for our autistic son. He was an invaluable help.”

(C.C. – Sarnia)