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The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. (Peggy O'Mara)

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

If there is no relationship - nothing else matters !

Children today are under enormous pressures rarely experienced by their parents or grandparents. Many of today's children are being enticed to grow up too quickly and are encountering challenges for which they are totally unprepared.

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

"To be a man, a boy must see a man."  (J.R. Moehringer)

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

"Cutting" is a visible sign to the world that you are hurting.

Learn more.

Toilet Training (part 2)

 

 

As I stated in my previous blog many toilet training difficulties are really non problems. They stem from either:

  • unrealistic expectations
  • misleading advice

A child’s neurological and physiological “systems” must be sufficiently developed in order to gain control of his bladder and bowels and there is a wide variation of ages when these 2 systems converge to make toilet training successful.

At around 18 months of age the child’s reflex control begins to weaken and voluntary control begins to take over. At about 24 months, the sensation of impending urine release becomes apparent to the child and he / she may be able to give you about a 10 second warning. Over the next months the warning time increases and by about 30 months approximately 2/3 of children will be dry most of the time. Generally speaking girls train earlier and more easily than boys because of:

  • advanced rate of development
  • different anatomy
  • generally more compliant

Soon after day time control is achieved, night time control will hopefully happen (an upcoming blog will feature bed-wetting concerns)

The important point to remember is that there is a great variation in age when children are ready to begin toilet training.

YOU CAN’T GO FAR WRONG:

  1. IF YOU DON’T START TOO EARLY
  2. IF YOU DON’T FORCE THE CHILD
  3. IF YOU DON’TPANIC

My next posting will outline a training regime that is conducive to a non stressful, successful outcome.

What parents need most is ideas because with ideas we get options.

Rick Harper has been providing ideas to parents for over 40 years.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“I am no longer overwhelmed with a child who has unending discipline and behaviour problems.”

(P.S. – London)