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If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

Wouldn't it be nice if children would simply listen and learn.

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

If you are headed in the wrong direction as a parent - you are allowed to make a U-turn.

Being a parent of a teenager can cure a person of narcissism.

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

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THE VICIOUS CYCLE OF BEHAVIOUR PROBLEMS

 

A “vicious cycle of behaviour problems” begins when a child repeatedly performs an inappropriate behaviour and the parent’s attempt to manage it is unsuccessful. The behaviour is repeated many times over a period of time with the results being:

  1. management strategy continues to be less than successful
  2. parent gets angry
  3. the child continues the behaviour
  4. child gets “locked in” and shows no sign of wanting to cooperate
  5. parent gets “locked in” to a strategy that isn’t working

The end results of this cycle are:

  1. the parent’s authority gradually decreases
  2. the child’s “sense of control” increases
  3. the relationship between the parents and the child suffers greatly
  4. “I love my kid, but I really don’t like him much”

The solution to the “vicious cycle of behaviour problems” is for the parent to objectively evaluate their own response to the inappropriate behaviours and consider another response. What parents need most are ideas, because with ideas we get options. Rick Harper has been providing ideas to parents for over 35 years.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Implementing Rick’s techniques and adhering to them is exhausting, but it is a healthy exhaustion rather than the detrimental exhaustion I used to experience.”

(B.F. – Woodstock)