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"Rules without relationship leads to rebellion" (Josh McDowell)

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

There has been an explosion in the prescribing of medication for very young children, particularly preschool and kindergarten boys (Juli Zito , Univ. of Maryland)

"Parents aren't the cause of ADHD, but they are part of the solution." (Kenny Handleman, M.D.)

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

"To be a man, a boy must see a man."  (J.R. Moehringer)

If there is no relationship - nothing else matters !

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

Hurt people hurt people.

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

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THE VICIOUS CYCLE OF BEHAVIOUR PROBLEMS

 

A “vicious cycle of behaviour problems” begins when a child repeatedly performs an inappropriate behaviour and the parent’s attempt to manage it is unsuccessful. The behaviour is repeated many times over a period of time with the results being:

  1. management strategy continues to be less than successful
  2. parent gets angry
  3. the child continues the behaviour
  4. child gets “locked in” and shows no sign of wanting to cooperate
  5. parent gets “locked in” to a strategy that isn’t working

The end results of this cycle are:

  1. the parent’s authority gradually decreases
  2. the child’s “sense of control” increases
  3. the relationship between the parents and the child suffers greatly
  4. “I love my kid, but I really don’t like him much”

The solution to the “vicious cycle of behaviour problems” is for the parent to objectively evaluate their own response to the inappropriate behaviours and consider another response. What parents need most are ideas, because with ideas we get options. Rick Harper has been providing ideas to parents for over 35 years.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Our daughter was the joy of our life until she turned 13, then all hell broke loose. Rick helped us understand what was happening to her and we made some adjustments that helped us get through it. She’s now in University and doing well.”

(D.A. – St. Thomas)