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It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

"To be a man, a boy must see a man."  (J.R. Moehringer)

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

The mistake that Sharon and I both made is we never set any boundaries.  (Ozzy Osbourne)

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

"The thing that impresses me most about North America is the way parents obey their children"    (King Edward VII , 1841-1910)

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

Children fare better when expectations on them are clear and firm.

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THE VICIOUS CYCLE OF BEHAVIOUR PROBLEMS

 

A “vicious cycle of behaviour problems” begins when a child repeatedly performs an inappropriate behaviour and the parent’s attempt to manage it is unsuccessful. The behaviour is repeated many times over a period of time with the results being:

  1. management strategy continues to be less than successful
  2. parent gets angry
  3. the child continues the behaviour
  4. child gets “locked in” and shows no sign of wanting to cooperate
  5. parent gets “locked in” to a strategy that isn’t working

The end results of this cycle are:

  1. the parent’s authority gradually decreases
  2. the child’s “sense of control” increases
  3. the relationship between the parents and the child suffers greatly
  4. “I love my kid, but I really don’t like him much”

The solution to the “vicious cycle of behaviour problems” is for the parent to objectively evaluate their own response to the inappropriate behaviours and consider another response. What parents need most are ideas, because with ideas we get options. Rick Harper has been providing ideas to parents for over 35 years.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“We are foster parents who took in a 13 year old girl (going on 18!) and she ran us through the wringer. Rick helped us learn how to set limits that made the difference.”

(G.E. – Strathroy)