Temper Tantrums
“Temper tantrums come in all shapes and sizes, various decibel levels , and a myriad of duration spans. There are vertical temper tantrums, characterized by foot stomping and yelling; horizontal tantrums, in which the child beats or flails arms and legs in furious motions; and total body tantrums, where the child begins screeching in a vertical stance, then dashes herself to the floor and beats hands and feet in a synchronized chaos of jerks and thuds.
Whatever method the child chooses, there are several truisms regarding tantrums:
1. they happen to everyone
2. they are a predictable part of a child’s development
3. they are unpredictable as to specific time , place and cause
4. the underlying cause may be as minor as a mother’s denial of a second piece of cake or as major as deciding from
which side of the car to exit
5. the length of tantrum endurance of the tantrummer (child) always far exceeds that of the tantrummee (parent)
Most tantrums from young children occur for the following reason. The child, usually beginning at about 2 years old, is beginning to learn the skills (and the difficulties) of decision making. And he is beginning to sense and assert a little spark inside that flickers with that wonderful feeling of independence. This, in itself, makes not getting one’s way extremely unnerving to the child. But he’s not verbal yet, rather, a physical being in everything he does. Thus we have the tantrum – an effective way to let emotions loose, vent all frustration, and shout “I’m me!” all at the same time.
“That’s fine,” we parents say. We understand. If understanding is the first plateau of tantrum solving, then the second is a veritable Mt. Everest. We still have to live through it.” (source unknown)