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Children today are under enormous pressures rarely experienced by their parents or grandparents. Many of today's children are being enticed to grow up too quickly and are encountering challenges for which they are totally unprepared.

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

"Moody" and "unpredictable" are adjectives parents will often use when referring to their teenagers.

"Rules without relationship leads to rebellion" (Josh McDowell)

If there is no relationship - nothing else matters !

"To be a man, a boy must see a man."  (J.R. Moehringer)

Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

The best inheritance  parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

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Tactics for Temper Tantrums (part 8)

 

 

Concession

Sometimes nothing works. And sometimes for reasons of sheer equality or common sense or both, the parent finds it necessary to concede. After all, we’re not our childlren’s adversaries; we’re their advocates. Sometimes, both interests are seerved by giving in. Giving in to a tantrum now and then will not foster a juvenile delinquent. Is the damage done by one extra cookie worth half an hour of wear and tear on both of you? Have you been unreasonable in the first place, demanding too much and thus contributing to the scene?

Sometimes a parent realizes soon after making a request of stating a vehement “No, you can’t!” that the request is unreasonable or the desired compliance goes beyond a fair expectation for this child. Now comes the dilemma. Should I stick to my guns, and make the point that when I say something, I mean it even if I now realize that what I have asked is dumb? Am I going to give in eventually anyway? The key is timing. If you know that sooner or later you are going to relent, then relent now. The more time that passes in the tandtrum scene, the more reinforcement the child receives for the idea that persistence does pay off. The child may perceive that there are rewards to the one who can lhold out the longest.

Most parents feel that if they give their instincts a chance, they can sense the times when it is best to give in, just as they can sense the times when they must maintain control.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“I am no longer overwhelmed with a child who has unending discipline and behaviour problems.”

(P.S. – London)