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If there is no relationship - nothing else matters !

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

The best inheritance  parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.

"Parents aren't the cause of ADHD, but they are part of the solution." (Kenny Handleman, M.D.)

Criticism is not a motivator.

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

The more 2 parents differ in their approaches to discipline, the more likely it leads to trouble for the child.

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

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Tactics for Temper Tantrums (part 8)

 

 

Concession

Sometimes nothing works. And sometimes for reasons of sheer equality or common sense or both, the parent finds it necessary to concede. After all, we’re not our childlren’s adversaries; we’re their advocates. Sometimes, both interests are seerved by giving in. Giving in to a tantrum now and then will not foster a juvenile delinquent. Is the damage done by one extra cookie worth half an hour of wear and tear on both of you? Have you been unreasonable in the first place, demanding too much and thus contributing to the scene?

Sometimes a parent realizes soon after making a request of stating a vehement “No, you can’t!” that the request is unreasonable or the desired compliance goes beyond a fair expectation for this child. Now comes the dilemma. Should I stick to my guns, and make the point that when I say something, I mean it even if I now realize that what I have asked is dumb? Am I going to give in eventually anyway? The key is timing. If you know that sooner or later you are going to relent, then relent now. The more time that passes in the tandtrum scene, the more reinforcement the child receives for the idea that persistence does pay off. The child may perceive that there are rewards to the one who can lhold out the longest.

Most parents feel that if they give their instincts a chance, they can sense the times when it is best to give in, just as they can sense the times when they must maintain control.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you [...]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First [...]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain [...]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Rick’s approach is so logical. He helped us clearly define the problem, analyze what has happened and select the best strategy. We now feel empowered to do something positive for our kid”

(A.N. – Tillsonburg)