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The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

If you are headed in the wrong direction as a parent - you are allowed to make a U-turn.

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

"Moody" and "unpredictable" are adjectives parents will often use when referring to their teenagers.

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

Being a parent of a teenager can cure a person of narcissism.

Simple rules adhered to when children are young can prevent more serious problems later.

The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. (Peggy O'Mara)

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

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Separating from Parents

 

 

Being a parent of a teen can cure a person of narcissism. When your child was born, you were the center of  his/her universe. You were special . Now that you have an adolescent, you have become less central. No matter what you do, your teen continues to invest in the outside world more than at home.

This is how it should be. Teens slowly move away from their parents physically and  emotionally. Over time, they change from being “family-centric” to being “friends-centric”.  Their interests and activities revolve more and more around their friends. In addition, when children enter adolescence, they begin questioning their parents’ values, ideas and beliefs and begin formulating their own. This too is as it should be. The dependent nature of the parent-child relationship is designed to end at some point.

In order to become healthy, functioning adults, children must sever the ties to their parents, often transforming the relationship into a friendship. Children can’t enter the world if they have not separated from parents!

So the issue is not whether your teen should separate from you, but how, for there is a right way to separate and a wrong away way.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Our daughter was the joy of our life until she turned 13, then all hell broke loose. Rick helped us understand what was happening to her and we made some adjustments that helped us get through it. She’s now in University and doing well.”

(D.A. – St. Thomas)