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The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

The best inheritance  parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.

A tantruming toddler is a little ball of writhing muscle and incredible strength. It's like trying to carry a greased pig past a slop bucket.

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless.  ( Tori Amos)

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

Hurt people hurt people.

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Rewarding Behaviour

 

 

Consistent, small rewards for small achievements work much better than large rewards for big goals, especially for younger children. After all, you wouldn’t expect your child to learn to read if you paid him no attention until he’d finished his first book. You would indicate your pleasure along the way.  Why set such a high expectation for behavioural self-control? Food and toys are often the first rewards that come to mind, but they are not the most effective. Your approval, expressed enthusiastically and accompanied by a pat on the back or a high-five, should produce more behaviour change than a cookie. Children also enjoy earning more control over their lives: the right to decide what’s for dinner, stay up 10 minutes later, or pick the destination of a family outing. These all make good rewards for positive behaviour.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“We were so naive. We thought our son’s poor behaviour was just a phase he was passing through. Thankfully you led us ‘out of the wilderness'”

(N.S. – London)