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Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

"The thing that impresses me most about North America is the way parents obey their children"    (King Edward VII , 1841-1910)

Children fare better when expectations on them are clear and firm.

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless.  ( Tori Amos)

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

Wouldn't it be nice if children would simply listen and learn.

"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

The best inheritance  parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.

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Question to Behavioural Management Systems

 

We have an 8 month old daughter who is very fussy. She cries whenever I put her down and won’t stop until I pick her up again. This happens all day long. I’m getting real tired of it. Please help me.

Answer:

Crying is your babies form of communicating. It is how she lets you know she is hungry, wet, dirty , tired, etc. It is vitally important that you respond appropriately to legitimate cries for help. However, it is possible to create a fussy, demanding baby by responding every time she cries. Babies are fully capable of learning how to manipulate mom and dad. When a new born infants cries parents need to respond and attempt to find the source of discomfort and resolve it. By the time a child is 8 months old, most parents can tell if a cry is communicating genuine distress or simply a desire to be picked up . Picking up an 8 month old baby every time she cries is teaching her a lesson you do not want her to learn. Do not be afraid to let an 8 month old baby cry for a reasonable amount of time when you know by the tone that there is no significant problem that needs to be resolved. You  want the child to learn how to self soothe and responding immediately to an OLDER baby’s every whimper is counter productive.

 

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Parents' Comments

“We were so naive. We thought our son’s poor behaviour was just a phase he was passing through. Thankfully you led us ‘out of the wilderness'”

(N.S. – London)