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"Moody" and "unpredictable" are adjectives parents will often use when referring to their teenagers.

Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

If it  was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called "labour".

Early intervention is always better than crisis management - but it is never too late to do the right thing.

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

Hurt people hurt people.

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

"Cutting" is a visible sign to the world that you are hurting.

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

There has been an explosion in the prescribing of medication for very young children, particularly preschool and kindergarten boys (Juli Zito , Univ. of Maryland)

Learn more.

Question from a parent of a 10 year old girl.

Question: “What can I do when my daughter kicks up a big fuss about having to go with the family to my 7 year old son’s soccer game?

My Suggestion: Tell her – “Honey, you do not have to go to the game. Dad can take him and I’ll stay with you. But understand that you will not be able to go to your friends house for the sleep over tomorrow night and you won’t be going to the theatre with us on the weekend to see that movie you have been talking about. We’ll get a sitter. The choice is yours. We’re leaving for the game  in 10 minutes. You be in the car if you chose to go” – then walk away with no negotiations.

The Result: The mother spoke in a quiet, direct tone. There was no hint of anger. She confirmed that the decision was the daughter’s to make. She clearly spelled out what the consequences would be if the daughter refused to go to the game. There was no question in the daughter’s mind that mom was serious. The daughter was in the car on time and in a good mood and  everybody had a good time. The son scored  the winning  goal.

Epilogue: The key to this approach is for the parent to remain “regulated”.  It is essential that the parent walk away after clearly and briefly explaining the consequences with no further discussion. A lengthy discussion between mom and daughter would likely result  in angry emotions bubbling to the top. Walking away gives the daughter a little space and time to consider her options and she chose the best one.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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