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Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

Criticism is not a motivator.

"To be a man, a boy must see a man."  (J.R. Moehringer)

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

"Rules without relationship leads to rebellion" (Josh McDowell)

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

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Professional Development

I have attended 3 separate day long conferences in the last few weeks that all basically had the same prescription for troubled and troubling youth.

Annette Kussin (MSW) was speaking in London on “Attachment in Adolescence”. Stanley Kutcher (MD) was at CPRI in London and his topic was “The Developing Adoscent Brain” and Stuart Shanker (Ph.D) presented “Bringing Self Regulation into the Classroom” in Mississauga.

All three of these individuals emphasized that caregivers must develop and understanding of how a child’s brain develops and works because the functioning of the brain is the root of all behaviour. Neuroscientists tell us that most brain growth occurs after birth and circumstances in the early years set the foundation for brain development. Stress is a major contributor to disrupted brain development and today’s youth are the most stressed in all of history. Social scientists tell us that 70% of all children in the western world are over stressed.

There is truth in the statement “We are what our brain is”. The primary goal of Behavioural Management Systems is to help parents relieve stress in their homes.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“We were so naive. We thought our son’s poor behaviour was just a phase he was passing through. Thankfully you led us ‘out of the wilderness'”

(N.S. – London)