Post Adoption Resources

Children born into a biological family seldom reflect on what it means to be a family. The dynamics evolve into a familiar and comfortable routine that we just take for granted. Children who enter the family through adoption have probably been in several foster homes and do not have a sense of what “family” means. This is all very new territory for a child who has been a transient part of numerous families before becoming a part of yours. Every biological family has their own unique routines, patterns and traditions. A new member entering your family (biological, foster, adopted) will alter the pattern somewhat, resulting in a learning curve for the new member and the existing ones.

Adoption can result in a steep learning curve for everyone and some advice that adoptive parents that have consulted with me recommend these tips to those just starting out in adoption.

take advantage of parental leave from work – this applies to both mom and dad
minimize visitors to your home for several weeks or months
do not leave your adopted children in someone else’s care
cut back on extracurricular activities for a period of time
say “no’ to volunteer work that does not involve the whole family
verbalize about how your family does things – e.g.. “In our family we take the dog for a walk after supper”
do things together as a family: meals, games, jobs around the house
be mindful of the needs of your other children

Bringing another child into your home is a wonderful and selfless gift but there will be some bumps along the road. Do not hesitate to ask for help as you search for answers. Many families have travelled this road before and they can be a wealth of information and support.

Behaviour Management Systems has assisted numerous families with issues related to adoption. One of those issues will be around discipline and formulating a plan early can be the difference maker. Parenting adoptive children is not the same as parenting your biological children and failure to recognize this and adapt your parenting style can lead to unbelievable tension within a home and eventual breakdown of the family or the adoption..