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Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

Good parenting requires sacrifice. Childhood lasts for only a few brief years , but it should be given priority while it is passing before your eyes

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless.  ( Tori Amos)

If you are headed in the wrong direction as a parent - you are allowed to make a U-turn.

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

If it  was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called "labour".

"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

Learn more.

Mom’s Manifesto

This was taken from Kirk Martin’s newsletter (www.celebrate calm.com) and is worthy to pass on to parents who are being “stretched” by the attitudes and behaviour of their teenage children.

Mom’s Manifesto for Personal and Family Sanity (what I will do and what I’ll stop doing)

1. I will stop telling you what you should do and dumping my anxiety about your future on you. It’s your life, not mine, and you’re very capable of making good decisions. (This is hard for me, so if you catch me doing it, give me a “time out” sign and I will stop immediately.)

2. I will stop taking on responsibility for your job (Sarah) and your education (David). I can be a resource, but I can’t do it for you, and I shouldn’t try.

3. I will continue to help you think through your personal, educational and career goals, and to help you find the resources to meet them to the extent that you want me to.

4. I will stop blaming you for my negative moods and emotions, or for poor choices that I make. You are not responsible for my happiness and well-being. I am.

5. I will stop taking responsibility for your happiness and well-being, for your negative moods and emotions, or for poor choices that you make. They are your responsibilities, not mine.

6. I will respect myself and care about you enough to refuse to allow you to bully me, threatren me, insult me, use offensive language around me or harm me or my property in any way.

7. I will stop nagging you about helping me around the house. (If I start, give me the “time out” sign!)

8. I will provide for your basic food, clothing, educational and medical needs. Anything else you want me to pay for will depend on the degree to which you contribute to the running of the household.

9. I will make one meal a day for the family and provide healthy food for you to fix for breakfast and lunch. You’re welcome to help plan a weekly menu and shopping list.

10. I will have fun, enjoy my life and live it well, whether the people around me do or not!  I will love, encourage, enjoy, praise and pray for you. But I will not be responsible for your choices.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“We are foster parents who took in a 13 year old girl (going on 18!) and she ran us through the wringer. Rick helped us learn how to set limits that made the difference.”

(G.E. – Strathroy)