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"To be a man, a boy must see a man."  (J.R. Moehringer)

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

The mistake that Sharon and I both made is we never set any boundaries.  (Ozzy Osbourne)

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

The more 2 parents differ in their approaches to discipline, the more likely it leads to trouble for the child.

"Rules without relationship leads to rebellion" (Josh McDowell)

Criticism is not a motivator.

Good parenting requires sacrifice. Childhood lasts for only a few brief years , but it should be given priority while it is passing before your eyes

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

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Lying

 

 

LYING
Little children keep no secrets –
but that changes overtime.
 
At some point children realize that parents are not all knowing. It becomes possible to influence what their parents know about their actions and thoughts. They learn that information is power and concealing information makes them feel powerful. Lying and truth telling have powerful consequences and the drive to gain control of those consequences by hiding truth is something that manifests itself early in life.
 
Early psychologists took the position that children did not have the intellectual capacity to lie (eg. Jean Piaget). New evidence suggests that even young children sometimes do lie.
 
Motivations for lying:
                  a) to avoid punishment
                  b) to keep a “game” going
                  c) to keep a promise (eg. this will be our secret)
                  d) to gain something personally
                  e) to avoid being embarrassed
                  f)  to build themselves up
 
Children will lie about events when they have sufficient reason to gain something by lying.
 
Often parents have a difficult time accepting this fact. “My child would not lie to me. I know him. I would know if she lied to me.” We want so much to extend the days of childhood innocence for as long as possible, until all proof to the contrary has been established.
 
At first children may be clumsy about using this newfound ability to pretend and misrepresent themselves, however these early attempts set the stage for a long process of learning to differentiate truth from fiction, the motivation to tell the truth and the savvy to know all the social conventions about when not telling the truth is acceptable (white lies).
 
Children lie – but in adolescence the stakes increase dramatically !

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Our daughter was the joy of our life until she turned 13, then all hell broke loose. Rick helped us understand what was happening to her and we made some adjustments that helped us get through it. She’s now in University and doing well.”

(D.A. – St. Thomas)