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Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

The more 2 parents differ in their approaches to discipline, the more likely it leads to trouble for the child.

The mistake that Sharon and I both made is we never set any boundaries.  (Ozzy Osbourne)

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

There has been an explosion in the prescribing of medication for very young children, particularly preschool and kindergarten boys (Juli Zito , Univ. of Maryland)

A tantruming toddler is a little ball of writhing muscle and incredible strength. It's like trying to carry a greased pig past a slop bucket.

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

"Cutting" is a visible sign to the world that you are hurting.

"To be a man, a boy must see a man."  (J.R. Moehringer)

Learn more.

Homework Hassles (part 1)

 

 

Homework can be a major source of conflict between children and parents. Some children are avoiders, some procastinators, some fail to bring their work home and some do as little as possible. Some do  it too fast and carelessly and some take too long. Frequent battles over homework are harmful to healthy family life.

Homework serves two purposes:

  1. to provide opportunities to practice and improve skills
  2. to teach responsibility, self discipline, independence, perseverance and time management

It is my belief that purpose # 2 is more important than purpose # 1.

It is critical to remember that there are 3 players involved in doing homework and each has their own set of responsibilities.

a) Teacher’s responsibility

  1. to ensure the work is within the child’s ability
  2. to ensure the work is not just “busy work”
  3. to appreciate the child’s need for balance in his life
  4. to monitor the quality of the work
  5. to provide feedback to the student
  6. to reinforce homework completion
  7. to keep the parent informed

b) Parent’s responsibilty

  1. to provide a place (distraction free, adequate lighting, appropriate materials)
  2. to establish a routine
  3. to ensure there is enough time
  4. develop a rapport with the teacher
  5. request a homework book
  6. provide assistance as needed
  7. set a good example (eg. turn the TV off and read)

c) Child’s responsibility

  1. bring home the homework
  2. make a good effort
  3. ask for help if needed
  4. return completed work to school

The following general principles should apply to homework issues:

  • homework is between the child and the teacher
  • the completing of homework is the child’s responsibility – not the parent’s
  • the parent is the helper or facilitator

If homework hassles are occurring, it means that someone is not taking care of their responsibility and the “system” is out of balance. In such situations I recommend that the adults involved (parents and teacher) sit down together and review each player’s responsibilities. Determine where the imbalance is being created and don’t be surprised if all 3 players have missed the mark in some way. It is at this time that the adults make any adjustments within their areas of responsibility before the child’s responsibility can be addressed.

My next posting will provide the next steps in solving homework hassles. (I recommend a book by  Robert  MacKenzie called “Setting Limits in the Classroom” as this book was the primary source of information)

Rick Harper has been providing ideas to parents for over 40 years.

 

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  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain [...]

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A program for children with reading problems

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Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
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