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The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

Hurt people hurt people.

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

Children today are under enormous pressures rarely experienced by their parents or grandparents. Many of today's children are being enticed to grow up too quickly and are encountering challenges for which they are totally unprepared.

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

Learn more.

Helping a Teen Moderate Stress

 
HELPING A TEEN MODERATE & MANAGE STRESS
                          “SPIT”  HAPPENS !
 
1. Listen                
                  – without judging
                  – try to understand and appreciate their concern
                  – if event resulted from bad behaviour or poor judgment – it’s vital to avoid making matters worse by berating and punishing
                               without taking corrective action
                  – critical that teen know you are on his/her side
 
2. Don’t Minimize
                  – be empathetic & open
                  – what might be “No Big Deal” to you may be to him/her
 
3. Be a Reality Check
                  – this is balancing empathy
                  – do not allow his/her unrealistic negative thoughts to dominate
                  – important to move past the “victim” role
 
4. Give Space
                  – teen needs a safe place to feel bad and express those  feelings
                  – “we’ll get through this”

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“We were so naive. We thought our son’s poor behaviour was just a phase he was passing through. Thankfully you led us ‘out of the wilderness'”

(N.S. – London)