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Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

"Parents aren't the cause of ADHD, but they are part of the solution." (Kenny Handleman, M.D.)

Good parenting requires sacrifice. Childhood lasts for only a few brief years , but it should be given priority while it is passing before your eyes

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

"Moody" and "unpredictable" are adjectives parents will often use when referring to their teenagers.

Simple rules adhered to when children are young can prevent more serious problems later.

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. (Peggy O'Mara)

If it  was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called "labour".

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

Learn more.

Handling a “Manipulative” Tantrum

  • don’t give in unless your original demand/denial is unreasonable
  • if it is unreasonable, be prepared to change your mind
  • you must send a message that tantrums don’t work
  • if you give in, you are reinforcing tantrums
  • your attitude should be “firm”
  • do not be too sympathetic – avoid saying “I’m sorry you’re upset and crying, perhaps you can have a lollipop later” but rather “You cannot have a lollipop, that’s all there is to it”

Appropriate Behavioural Strategies

  1. prevention
  2. redirection / distraction
  3. extinction
  4. time out
  5. withdrawal of privilege
  6. reinforce appropriate responses
  7. physical guidance

It is best to deal with manipulative tantrums with a consistent approach. Be firm, don’t give in, stay single minded, ignore “red herrings”, don’t get drawn into negotiations.

“Track” with the child during “teachable” moments.

“Reinforce” appropriate responses.

Next post – handling a “temperamental” tantrum

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Our daughter was the joy of our life until she turned 13, then all hell broke loose. Rick helped us understand what was happening to her and we made some adjustments that helped us get through it. She’s now in University and doing well.”

(D.A. – St. Thomas)