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If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

Children fare better when expectations on them are clear and firm.

The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. (Peggy O'Mara)

"Parents aren't the cause of ADHD, but they are part of the solution." (Kenny Handleman, M.D.)

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

The best inheritance  parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.

"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

"The thing that impresses me most about North America is the way parents obey their children"    (King Edward VII , 1841-1910)

Criticism is not a motivator.

Learn more.

Handling a “Manipulative” Tantrum

  • don’t give in unless your original demand/denial is unreasonable
  • if it is unreasonable, be prepared to change your mind
  • you must send a message that tantrums don’t work
  • if you give in, you are reinforcing tantrums
  • your attitude should be “firm”
  • do not be too sympathetic – avoid saying “I’m sorry you’re upset and crying, perhaps you can have a lollipop later” but rather “You cannot have a lollipop, that’s all there is to it”

Appropriate Behavioural Strategies

  1. prevention
  2. redirection / distraction
  3. extinction
  4. time out
  5. withdrawal of privilege
  6. reinforce appropriate responses
  7. physical guidance

It is best to deal with manipulative tantrums with a consistent approach. Be firm, don’t give in, stay single minded, ignore “red herrings”, don’t get drawn into negotiations.

“Track” with the child during “teachable” moments.

“Reinforce” appropriate responses.

Next post – handling a “temperamental” tantrum

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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