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Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless.  ( Tori Amos)

If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

Children today are under enormous pressures rarely experienced by their parents or grandparents. Many of today's children are being enticed to grow up too quickly and are encountering challenges for which they are totally unprepared.

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

The mistake that Sharon and I both made is we never set any boundaries.  (Ozzy Osbourne)

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

Learn more.

Handling a “Manipulative” Tantrum

  • don’t give in unless your original demand/denial is unreasonable
  • if it is unreasonable, be prepared to change your mind
  • you must send a message that tantrums don’t work
  • if you give in, you are reinforcing tantrums
  • your attitude should be “firm”
  • do not be too sympathetic – avoid saying “I’m sorry you’re upset and crying, perhaps you can have a lollipop later” but rather “You cannot have a lollipop, that’s all there is to it”

Appropriate Behavioural Strategies

  1. prevention
  2. redirection / distraction
  3. extinction
  4. time out
  5. withdrawal of privilege
  6. reinforce appropriate responses
  7. physical guidance

It is best to deal with manipulative tantrums with a consistent approach. Be firm, don’t give in, stay single minded, ignore “red herrings”, don’t get drawn into negotiations.

“Track” with the child during “teachable” moments.

“Reinforce” appropriate responses.

Next post – handling a “temperamental” tantrum

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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