welcome image

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

Children fare better when expectations on them are clear and firm.

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

"The thing that impresses me most about North America is the way parents obey their children"    (King Edward VII , 1841-1910)

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

Good parenting requires sacrifice. Childhood lasts for only a few brief years , but it should be given priority while it is passing before your eyes

Being a parent of a teenager can cure a person of narcissism.

Wouldn't it be nice if children would simply listen and learn.

Learn more.

Dry Bed Training (part 2)

Dry Bed Training (Part 2)

Bedwetting is a “pain” for everybody – particularly for the child:
– waking up cold & wet feels horrible
– bathing every morning isn’t fun for a little kid
– skin irritations hurt
– siblings can be cruel
– overnight camp is out of the question
– sleep overs at a friends house are problems
– child feels that he/she is the only kid that wets the bed
– family vacations must accommodate a bed wetter
– loads of laundry (bedding, PJs, protective sheets
– odour
Bedwetting can become a source of irritation between a parent and the child that can be damaging to relationships and self esteem that can contribute significantly to emotional and/or psychological problems. From everybody’s perspective, bed wetting “sucks”.

Statistics
– 85% of 5 year olds have achieved complete bladder control
– 4 kids in an average kindergarten class still wet the bed
– 3 out of 100 grade 9 students still wet the bed
– girls typically achieve bladder control before boys
– for the vast majority, it eventually goes away but until it does it’s
discouraging and disappointing and most people would like to
fast forward to night time control

Bed Wetting Strategies in Other Times and Cultures
(NOT RECOMMENDED – except # 10))
1. a primitive tribe in the south Pacific beat and shamed the offender
and told him that if he didn’t stop a giant would eat him up
2. another tribe wraps the child in a mat and all the tribal elders pee
on him
3. another tribe tied the roots of medicinal herbs around the boys
penis or inserted pieces of it into the girls vagina
4. one group ground up dried rooster windpipe and dried hedge hog
testicles and mixed it with a kind of beer and made the child
drink it
5. some groups tied prickly seeds around the child’s waist
preventing him from sleeping on his back
6. others made the offender lick the hoof of a newborn lamb
7. another cut the face of the offender to let out the bad blood
8. another culture made the bed wetting children urinate over a
steep precipice
9. another made the offender stand over a burning eagle’s nest
10. when these remedies didn’t work the elders or medicine men
would throw up their hands and say words to the effect,
“Leave him alone, he’ll outgrow it !” (interestingly enough
that’s what most experts say now after their ideas may have
failed to work)

When to Seek Help
– after the age of 7 or 8
– when bed wetting is causing stress within the family
– prolonged periods of “secondary” enuresis (return to bed wetting
after an extended period of being dry)
– an older child wets or soils during the day
– child is clearly upset about the wetting

Causes of Enuresis
– usually unknown
– medical problem
– hormonal problem (low anti-diuretic hormone)
– delayed bladder maturation
– emotions
– genetics
– deep sleep
– small “functional” capacity of bladder
– allergies
– urinary tract infection
– diabetes
– structure or anatomical abnormality
– neurological problems
– constipation
– sleep disorder (e.g.. apnea)
– diet (caffeine stimulates increased urine production)
– ADHD (children with ADHD are 2 1/2 times likely to have bed
wetting issues)
– stress
– seizures
– some medications
– more

Diagnosis
The doctor will probably exam and palpate the genitalia and the rectum looking for physical abnormalities or blockage of the urethra. The doctor may watch and listen to the child void observing the stream and noting any unusual straining, dribbling, colour, odour or pain. A urinalysis will be used to determine if the child has an infection, PH problem, blood or sugar in the urine. One study found that 74% of snoring children who underwent surgery to remove nasal obstructions quit bedwetting suggesting respiratory problems somehow relate to enuresis. If any of the above procedures are positive, more sophisticated and invasive diagnostic procedures may be warranted:
– ultrasound
– X ray
– catheter
– cystoscope (insertion of a camera into the bladder)
– others
Most often, nothing is medically wrong with the child but it is wise to have a complete and thorough medical evaluation. (next post – Treatment Options)

Back to Top

Workshops

+ Behaviour Management

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

Learn more

+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

Learn more

+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

Learn more

+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

Learn more

+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

Learn more

See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

Archive


Parents' Comments

“We were so naive. We thought our son’s poor behaviour was just a phase he was passing through. Thankfully you led us ‘out of the wilderness'”

(N.S. – London)