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The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

"Rules without relationship leads to rebellion" (Josh McDowell)

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

"To be a man, a boy must see a man."  (J.R. Moehringer)

Hurt people hurt people.

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

If there is no relationship - nothing else matters !

Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

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Diagnostic Criteria for ADD/ADHD

The following is a summary of the criteria in DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) and describes what doctors look for when diagnosing ADD or ADHD.

A. INATTENTION ( the individual must display 6 or more of these characteristics)

  1. makes careless mistakes
  2. difficulty sustaining attention
  3. doesn’t seem to listen
  4. does not finish schoolwork, chores or duties
  5. difficulty organizing tasks and activities
  6. avoids tasks that require sustained mental effort
  7. easily distracted
  8. forgetful

and/or

B. HYPERACTIVITY/IMPULSIVITY- (must display 6 or more of the following)

  1. often fidgets with hands or feet – squirms in seat
  2. often “out of seat”
  3. often runs about or climbs excessively
  4. has difficulty playing quietly
  5. often “on the go” as if “driven by a motor”
  6. often talks excessively
  7. often blurts out answers
  8. often has difficulty waiting turn
  9. often interrupts or intrudes on others

C. SYMPTOMS PRESENT BEFORE AGE OF 7

D. SYMPTOMS PRESENT IN 2 OR MORE SETTINGS (SCHOOL, HOME,WORK)

E. CLEAR EVIDENCE OF SIGNIFICANT IMPAIRMENT IN SOCIAL, ACADEMIC OR             OCCUPATIONAL FUNCTIONING

F. SYMPTOMS ARE NOT BETTER ACCOUNTED FOR BY ANOTHER MENTAL DISORDER

A diagnosis of ADD/ADHD can only be made by a medical doctor or a psychologist.

What distinguishes ADD/ADHD is the number of behaviours, their intensity and duration.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“We are foster parents who took in a 13 year old girl (going on 18!) and she ran us through the wringer. Rick helped us learn how to set limits that made the difference.”

(G.E. – Strathroy)