welcome image

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

If there is no relationship - nothing else matters !

"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

Wouldn't it be nice if children would simply listen and learn.

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

A tantruming toddler is a little ball of writhing muscle and incredible strength. It's like trying to carry a greased pig past a slop bucket.

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

Early intervention is always better than crisis management - but it is never too late to do the right thing.

Learn more.

Consequencing Teenagers

Identifying and following through on appropriate consequences is a major part of the job description for parents of teenagers. A consequence for inappropriate behaviour typically involves one of two options:

a) removing a desirable (example – removal of computer privileges)

b) adding an undesirable (example – adding a chore)

Removing something the teen wants is usually more effective and easier to administer and monitor than adding something he/she doesn’t want. An effective consequence must involve something that matters to the teen. In my experience, it is better to remove the privilege for a “shorter” time rather than a “longer” time and if the teen hasn’t learned his/her lesson, you can remove the privilege again and again.

Your teenager may say “I don’t care!” – this usually means they do care, they just don’t want you to know (hoping you will give up). Parents, just hang in there.

Examples of consequences that matter to most teens:

– removing privileges

– grounding

– phone restrictions

– removing cell phone

– restrict instant messaging (software available to do this)

– restrict driving privileges

– restrict access to TV, computer, music, electronic games

Back to Top

Workshops

+ Behaviour Management

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

Learn more

+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

Learn more

+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

Learn more

+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

Learn more

+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

Learn more

See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

Archive


Parents' Comments

“I am no longer overwhelmed with a child who has unending discipline and behaviour problems.”

(P.S. – London)