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If there is no relationship - nothing else matters !

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

Criticism is not a motivator.

The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. (Peggy O'Mara)

Parenting style matters - a lot!

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

"Parents aren't the cause of ADHD, but they are part of the solution." (Kenny Handleman, M.D.)

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Consequencing Teenagers

Identifying and following through on appropriate consequences is a major part of the job description for parents of teenagers. A consequence for inappropriate behaviour typically involves one of two options:

a) removing a desirable (example – removal of computer privileges)

b) adding an undesirable (example – adding a chore)

Removing something the teen wants is usually more effective and easier to administer and monitor than adding something he/she doesn’t want. An effective consequence must involve something that matters to the teen. In my experience, it is better to remove the privilege for a “shorter” time rather than a “longer” time and if the teen hasn’t learned his/her lesson, you can remove the privilege again and again.

Your teenager may say “I don’t care!” – this usually means they do care, they just don’t want you to know (hoping you will give up). Parents, just hang in there.

Examples of consequences that matter to most teens:

– removing privileges

– grounding

– phone restrictions

– removing cell phone

– restrict instant messaging (software available to do this)

– restrict driving privileges

– restrict access to TV, computer, music, electronic games

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Rick’s approach is so logical. He helped us clearly define the problem, analyze what has happened and select the best strategy. We now feel empowered to do something positive for our kid”

(A.N. – Tillsonburg)