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Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

Hurt people hurt people.

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless.  ( Tori Amos)

The best inheritance  parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

"Parents aren't the cause of ADHD, but they are part of the solution." (Kenny Handleman, M.D.)

If there is no relationship - nothing else matters !

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

Parenting style matters - a lot!

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Consequencing Teenagers

Identifying and following through on appropriate consequences is a major part of the job description for parents of teenagers. A consequence for inappropriate behaviour typically involves one of two options:

a) removing a desirable (example – removal of computer privileges)

b) adding an undesirable (example – adding a chore)

Removing something the teen wants is usually more effective and easier to administer and monitor than adding something he/she doesn’t want. An effective consequence must involve something that matters to the teen. In my experience, it is better to remove the privilege for a “shorter” time rather than a “longer” time and if the teen hasn’t learned his/her lesson, you can remove the privilege again and again.

Your teenager may say “I don’t care!” – this usually means they do care, they just don’t want you to know (hoping you will give up). Parents, just hang in there.

Examples of consequences that matter to most teens:

– removing privileges

– grounding

– phone restrictions

– removing cell phone

– restrict instant messaging (software available to do this)

– restrict driving privileges

– restrict access to TV, computer, music, electronic games

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Implementing Rick’s techniques and adhering to them is exhausting, but it is a healthy exhaustion rather than the detrimental exhaustion I used to experience.”

(B.F. – Woodstock)