Consequencing Teenagers
Identifying and following through on appropriate consequences is a major part of the job description for parents of teenagers. A consequence for inappropriate behaviour typically involves one of two options:
a) removing a desirable (example – removal of computer privileges)
b) adding an undesirable (example – adding a chore)
Removing something the teen wants is usually more effective and easier to administer and monitor than adding something he/she doesn’t want. An effective consequence must involve something that matters to the teen. In my experience, it is better to remove the privilege for a “shorter” time rather than a “longer” time and if the teen hasn’t learned his/her lesson, you can remove the privilege again and again.
Your teenager may say “I don’t care!” – this usually means they do care, they just don’t want you to know (hoping you will give up). Parents, just hang in there.
Examples of consequences that matter to most teens:
– removing privileges
– grounding
– phone restrictions
– removing cell phone
– restrict instant messaging (software available to do this)
– restrict driving privileges
– restrict access to TV, computer, music, electronic games