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It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless.  ( Tori Amos)

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

Wouldn't it be nice if children would simply listen and learn.

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

Hurt people hurt people.

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Child/Parent Attachment

 

Child development is fundamentally social – it proceeds through relationships” (Stanley Greenspan Ph.D.)

Children MUST have a secure relationship with adult caregivers or attachment will not occur and healthy emotional development will; be arrested.” (Richard Delaney Ph. D)

In the early weeks, months and years of life , the following are positive signs that your young child is attempting to “attach” with you:

– eye contact

– smile

– tracking you with his/her eyes

– reaching towards you

– seeking to be picked up

– protesting separation from you

– signalling or calling for you

– clinging

If you consistently meet your child’s needs in the proper way (closeness, eye contact, touch, smiles, tenderness, etc.) he/she subconsciously concludes;

– “The world meets my needs.”

– “I can trust the adults in my life.”

– “I can trust the world.”

These conclusions lead to feeling of :

– “I am safe”

– “I can trust adults”

– I am treated well”

– “My needs are met”

– “I am valued”

– “I am not alone”

– “My future looks bright”

If this relationship between the child and parent remains unbroken, secure and healthy, the stage is set for a healthy attachment to develop.

 

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Implementing Rick’s techniques and adhering to them is exhausting, but it is a healthy exhaustion rather than the detrimental exhaustion I used to experience.”

(B.F. – Woodstock)