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Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

"Cutting" is a visible sign to the world that you are hurting.

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

Hurt people hurt people.

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

A tantruming toddler is a little ball of writhing muscle and incredible strength. It's like trying to carry a greased pig past a slop bucket.

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

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Child/Parent Attachment

 

“Child development is fundamentally social – it proceeds through relationships” (Stanley Greenspan Ph.D.)

“Children MUST have a secure relationship with adult caregivers or attachment will not occur and healthy emotional development will; be arrested.” (Richard Delaney Ph. D)

In the early weeks, months and years of life , the following are positive signs that your young child is attempting to “attach” with you:

– eye contact

– smile

– tracking you with his/her eyes

– reaching towards you

– seeking to be picked up

– protesting separation from you

– signalling or calling for you

– clinging

If you consistently meet your child’s needs in the proper way (closeness, eye contact, touch, smiles, tenderness, etc.) he/she subconsciously concludes;

– “The world meets my needs.”

– “I can trust the adults in my life.”

– “I can trust the world.”

These conclusions lead to feeling of :

– “I am safe”

– “I can trust adults”

– I am treated well”

– “My needs are met”

– “I am valued”

– “I am not alone”

– “My future looks bright”

If this relationship between the child and parent remains unbroken, secure and healthy, the stage is set for a healthy attachment to develop.

 

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“I am no longer overwhelmed with a child who has unending discipline and behaviour problems.”

(P.S. – London)