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It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

Criticism is not a motivator.

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless.  ( Tori Amos)

Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

The mistake that Sharon and I both made is we never set any boundaries.  (Ozzy Osbourne)

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

The more 2 parents differ in their approaches to discipline, the more likely it leads to trouble for the child.

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

Children fare better when expectations on them are clear and firm.

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

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Child/Parent Attachment

 

Child development is fundamentally social – it proceeds through relationships” (Stanley Greenspan Ph.D.)

Children MUST have a secure relationship with adult caregivers or attachment will not occur and healthy emotional development will; be arrested.” (Richard Delaney Ph. D)

In the early weeks, months and years of life , the following are positive signs that your young child is attempting to “attach” with you:

– eye contact

– smile

– tracking you with his/her eyes

– reaching towards you

– seeking to be picked up

– protesting separation from you

– signalling or calling for you

– clinging

If you consistently meet your child’s needs in the proper way (closeness, eye contact, touch, smiles, tenderness, etc.) he/she subconsciously concludes;

– “The world meets my needs.”

– “I can trust the adults in my life.”

– “I can trust the world.”

These conclusions lead to feeling of :

– “I am safe”

– “I can trust adults”

– I am treated well”

– “My needs are met”

– “I am valued”

– “I am not alone”

– “My future looks bright”

If this relationship between the child and parent remains unbroken, secure and healthy, the stage is set for a healthy attachment to develop.

 

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“We are foster parents who took in a 13 year old girl (going on 18!) and she ran us through the wringer. Rick helped us learn how to set limits that made the difference.”

(G.E. – Strathroy)