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Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

The mistake that Sharon and I both made is we never set any boundaries.  (Ozzy Osbourne)

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless.  ( Tori Amos)

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

A tantruming toddler is a little ball of writhing muscle and incredible strength. It's like trying to carry a greased pig past a slop bucket.

Early intervention is always better than crisis management - but it is never too late to do the right thing.

"Cutting" is a visible sign to the world that you are hurting.

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Child/Parent Attachment

 

Child development is fundamentally social – it proceeds through relationships” (Stanley Greenspan Ph.D.)

Children MUST have a secure relationship with adult caregivers or attachment will not occur and healthy emotional development will; be arrested.” (Richard Delaney Ph. D)

In the early weeks, months and years of life , the following are positive signs that your young child is attempting to “attach” with you:

– eye contact

– smile

– tracking you with his/her eyes

– reaching towards you

– seeking to be picked up

– protesting separation from you

– signalling or calling for you

– clinging

If you consistently meet your child’s needs in the proper way (closeness, eye contact, touch, smiles, tenderness, etc.) he/she subconsciously concludes;

– “The world meets my needs.”

– “I can trust the adults in my life.”

– “I can trust the world.”

These conclusions lead to feeling of :

– “I am safe”

– “I can trust adults”

– I am treated well”

– “My needs are met”

– “I am valued”

– “I am not alone”

– “My future looks bright”

If this relationship between the child and parent remains unbroken, secure and healthy, the stage is set for a healthy attachment to develop.

 

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Our psychiatrist recommended Rick to help us sort out behaviour management issues for our autistic son. He was an invaluable help.”

(C.C. – Sarnia)