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The best inheritance  parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.

"To be a man, a boy must see a man."  (J.R. Moehringer)

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

Hurt people hurt people.

"Rules without relationship leads to rebellion" (Josh McDowell)

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

Criticism is not a motivator.

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Types of Temper Tantrums

There are 2 types of tantrums:

  1. manipulative (child is trying to get his own way – conscious, planned, controlled)
  2. temperamental (child can’t help it – he is truly “out of control”)

Both types can look the same and one form can lead into another. A temperamental tantrum acquires a manipulative quality when the child comes to understand the value of what he’s is doing.

Guidelines to Help Distinguish the Two Types

  • the manipulative tantrum is typically less intense
  • the manipulative tantrum is clearly the result of the child not getting something he wants
  • the motive is obvious for manipulative tantrums – you don’t need to look very hard to find it
  • the temperament tantrum relates to an underlying temperamental issue
  • you typically feel sorry for a child having a temperamental tantrum because “he can’t help it”
  • a manipulative tantrum feels like he’s trying to get his own way

Next post – handling a “manipulative” tantrum.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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