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If it  was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called "labour".

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

Simple rules adhered to when children are young can prevent more serious problems later.

The mistake that Sharon and I both made is we never set any boundaries.  (Ozzy Osbourne)

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

Children today are under enormous pressures rarely experienced by their parents or grandparents. Many of today's children are being enticed to grow up too quickly and are encountering challenges for which they are totally unprepared.

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

If you are headed in the wrong direction as a parent - you are allowed to make a U-turn.

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Types of Temper Tantrums

There are 2 types of tantrums:

  1. manipulative (child is trying to get his own way – conscious, planned, controlled)
  2. temperamental (child can’t help it – he is truly “out of control”)

Both types can look the same and one form can lead into another. A temperamental tantrum acquires a manipulative quality when the child comes to understand the value of what he’s is doing.

Guidelines to Help Distinguish the Two Types

  • the manipulative tantrum is typically less intense
  • the manipulative tantrum is clearly the result of the child not getting something he wants
  • the motive is obvious for manipulative tantrums – you don’t need to look very hard to find it
  • the temperament tantrum relates to an underlying temperamental issue
  • you typically feel sorry for a child having a temperamental tantrum because “he can’t help it”
  • a manipulative tantrum feels like he’s trying to get his own way

Next post – handling a “manipulative” tantrum.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“I wish we had found Rick 2 years ago. We could have saved ourselves and our son a lot of trouble.”

(T.T. – Byron)