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If it  was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called "labour".

"Rules without relationship leads to rebellion" (Josh McDowell)

"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

If there is no relationship - nothing else matters !

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. (Peggy O'Mara)

There has been an explosion in the prescribing of medication for very young children, particularly preschool and kindergarten boys (Juli Zito , Univ. of Maryland)

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Types of Temper Tantrums

There are 2 types of tantrums:

  1. manipulative (child is trying to get his own way – conscious, planned, controlled)
  2. temperamental (child can’t help it – he is truly “out of control”)

Both types can look the same and one form can lead into another. A temperamental tantrum acquires a manipulative quality when the child comes to understand the value of what he’s is doing.

Guidelines to Help Distinguish the Two Types

  • the manipulative tantrum is typically less intense
  • the manipulative tantrum is clearly the result of the child not getting something he wants
  • the motive is obvious for manipulative tantrums – you don’t need to look very hard to find it
  • the temperament tantrum relates to an underlying temperamental issue
  • you typically feel sorry for a child having a temperamental tantrum because “he can’t help it”
  • a manipulative tantrum feels like he’s trying to get his own way

Next post – handling a “manipulative” tantrum.

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This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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