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It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

Early intervention is always better than crisis management - but it is never too late to do the right thing.

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

Criticism is not a motivator.

"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

"The thing that impresses me most about North America is the way parents obey their children"    (King Edward VII , 1841-1910)

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Separating from Parents

 

 

Being a parent of a teen can cure a person of narcissism. When your child was born, you were the center of  his/her universe. You were special . Now that you have an adolescent, you have become less central. No matter what you do, your teen continues to invest in the outside world more than at home.

This is how it should be. Teens slowly move away from their parents physically and  emotionally. Over time, they change from being “family-centric” to being “friends-centric”.  Their interests and activities revolve more and more around their friends. In addition, when children enter adolescence, they begin questioning their parents’ values, ideas and beliefs and begin formulating their own. This too is as it should be. The dependent nature of the parent-child relationship is designed to end at some point.

In order to become healthy, functioning adults, children must sever the ties to their parents, often transforming the relationship into a friendship. Children can’t enter the world if they have not separated from parents!

So the issue is not whether your teen should separate from you, but how, for there is a right way to separate and a wrong away way.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Rick’s approach is so logical. He helped us clearly define the problem, analyze what has happened and select the best strategy. We now feel empowered to do something positive for our kid”

(A.N. – Tillsonburg)