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Children fare better when expectations on them are clear and firm.

"Moody" and "unpredictable" are adjectives parents will often use when referring to their teenagers.

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

The more 2 parents differ in their approaches to discipline, the more likely it leads to trouble for the child.

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

"The thing that impresses me most about North America is the way parents obey their children"    (King Edward VII , 1841-1910)

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

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Meeting with Concerned Parents in Toronto

I recently had an invitation to visit a church community north of Toronto to share some ideas with a small group of parents who are concerned about choices their teenagers are making. I outlined the 5 conventional approaches to dealing with these kinds of issues (medical, biochemical. counselling, skills acquisition, behavioural) and explained the strengths and weaknesses of each. It is probable in each one of these families that the best approach would be to combine several of them but no matter how you combine them, you will be using the behavioural approach because all it means is what is the best way to respond to an inappropriate behaviour.

There is nothing more powerful than an idea.

Rick Harper of Behavioural Management Systems has been providing ideas to parents for over 40 years.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“I am no longer overwhelmed with a child who has unending discipline and behaviour problems.”

(P.S. – London)