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We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

"Moody" and "unpredictable" are adjectives parents will often use when referring to their teenagers.

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

The more 2 parents differ in their approaches to discipline, the more likely it leads to trouble for the child.

"Rules without relationship leads to rebellion" (Josh McDowell)

Early intervention is always better than crisis management - but it is never too late to do the right thing.

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

If it  was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called "labour".

"Parents aren't the cause of ADHD, but they are part of the solution." (Kenny Handleman, M.D.)

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

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ADHD – A Frustrated Parent

The following is a quote from a parent that  is both very frustrated and at the same time very concerned about her son.

“I can’t take it anymore! We scream all morning to get out of the house. Homework takes hours. If I don’t help him with his work, he’s so disorganized that he’ll never get it done. If I do help him, he screams at me. Since he never finishes anything, everyone thinks he doesn’t care. No matter how much we beg, or punish, he keeps doing the same stupid things over and over again. He never considers the consequences of his actions, and he doesn’t seem to care if they hurt me. It’s so easy for him to get overwhelmed. He is so inflexible, and then blows up over anything. It gets me so angry that I scream back, which makes everything even worse. Now that he’s getting older, the lies and the cursing is getting worse, too. I know he has trouble paying attention, but why does he have all these other problems as well?”

Words that often describe the feeling that parents of children with ADHD / ADD have include:

  • frustrated
  • stressed out
  • frightened
  • angry
  • exhausted
  • discouraged
  • burned out
  • worried
  • overwhelmed
  • confused
  • inadequate
  • embarrassed
  • trapped
  • helpless
  • hopeless

These feelings are real and parents need to have a safe place to express them but they also need to understand that they must  discover a way to manage those feelings. The best way to do that is to figure out the best way to manage your child’s symptoms.

Behavioural Management Systems has been helping families figure out the best way to manage their children’s behaviour for over 40 years.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“We were so naive. We thought our son’s poor behaviour was just a phase he was passing through. Thankfully you led us ‘out of the wilderness'”

(N.S. – London)