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The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

"The thing that impresses me most about North America is the way parents obey their children"    (King Edward VII , 1841-1910)

Children fare better when expectations on them are clear and firm.

Learn more.

Temper Tantrums (18 months to 3 years)

A tantrum from a child this age becomes more dramatic. Expect screaming, crying, protest, slamming toys and doors, throwing objects, self injurious behaviours and lying on the ground with flailing arms and legs. The most effective and appropriate responses by the parent of a child this age are “redirection”, “extinction”, and “wait out”. For safety reason, stay within eyesight of the child. The “teachable moment” is not during the tantrum but sometime after you and your child have cooled down. “Withdrawal of a privilege”  or  “tracking” may be appropriate and effective for a child at the upper end of this age group.

Next posting – dealing with tantrums from children 3 years to 6 years old

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“We are foster parents who took in a 13 year old girl (going on 18!) and she ran us through the wringer. Rick helped us learn how to set limits that made the difference.”

(G.E. – Strathroy)