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If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

"Rules without relationship leads to rebellion" (Josh McDowell)

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

If it  was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called "labour".

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

A tantruming toddler is a little ball of writhing muscle and incredible strength. It's like trying to carry a greased pig past a slop bucket.

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

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Lori’s note

Lori’s psychiatrist asked her to write something describing her life:
“Everybody is hurt sometime in his or her life. For me it started with my parents. But let me start further back. I was adopted in 1986 by my parents. In elementary school, people were not very nice to me. They spread rumours about me that I was a lesbian, which by the way, I’m not. Anyway, I had very few friends and was what they call a nerd or a dork. I did not know fashion, and I did not know “anything” that was cool. So this girl decided to do a makeover on me which was not a total success. On a more serious note, home wasn’t going too well either. I was being abused both mentally and physically. My dad would grab me and cover my mouth so I couldn’t scream and hit me and my mom yelled at me. It was hell. I decided to deal with my school problems by changing schools. There I did well in the beginning but my grades began to drop as I got more depressed. Soon the abuse got worse, my temper got worse, and I got serious depression. I began going to a child psychiatrist who finally got my dad to stop physically abusing me but up until a few months ago, my mom mentally abused me. School life went downhill. I began to get very depressed and stopped talking to a lot of people so they stopped talking to me so I lost many of my friends. My grades also dropped. Eventually I started cutting myself to relieve myself of the emotional pain. It became an addiction. When I finally told my parents and psychiatrist they sent me to a hospital. I made many friends and got better. But they discharged me too fast.  I got sick again. Now I’m sick and I’m still cutting myself and I can’t stop. I also tried overdosing but I spit it out. That’s my life.
 
Parents and teachers are key to recognizing signs of depression
– young people rarely say “I am depressed”
                                    – they indicate it indirectly with other words and by their behaviour. 

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Our psychiatrist recommended Rick to help us sort out behaviour management issues for our autistic son. He was an invaluable help.”

(C.C. – Sarnia)