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"Rules without relationship leads to rebellion" (Josh McDowell)

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

Children today are under enormous pressures rarely experienced by their parents or grandparents. Many of today's children are being enticed to grow up too quickly and are encountering challenges for which they are totally unprepared.

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless.  ( Tori Amos)

Simple rules adhered to when children are young can prevent more serious problems later.

If there is no relationship - nothing else matters !

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

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Asperger’s Syndrome
What is it?
            Asperger’s Syndrome is a neurobiological disorder that results in behavioural characteristics that are best described as “odd” or “eccentric”. The cause is not
 known although there appears to be a strong genetic component as it has a high heritability rate. There is no cure. There are, however interventions that can yield
positive results.
Dr. Hans Asperger (Austrian pediatrician and psychiatrist) observed 4 children in his practice in 1944 who had difficulty integrating socially. The intelligence of these children appeared to be normal, however they lacked nonverbal communication skills.  Dr. Asperger described it as a “condition primarily marked by social isolation”.
            – average to superior intelligence
            – perceived by others as being “odd”,” eccentric”
            – socially naive – often taken advantage of, rejected or bullied
            – unaware of other’s thoughts, feelings or perceptions resulting in appearing rude or inconsiderate
            – difficulty in initiating & maintaining close relationships & friends despite desiring to do so
            -problems reading non verbal or social cues and understanding social rules
            – inappropriate or insensitive social behaviours
            – will play with others but “on their terms” or not at all
            – literal interpretation of communication from others -eg. “I have a splitting headache”
            -speech is used primarily for delivering information or requesting something (not as a way of interacting socially)
            – inability to small talk – one sided conversations (centered on self)
            – long winded about their favourite interests
            – may sound like a “little professor”
            – uses repetitive phrases
            – detail oriented – may miss the “big picture”
            – superior ability to focus on favoured areas of interests
            – difficulty using language in a social context
            – exaggerated emotional response to situations (eg. temper tantrums, crying)
            – hyper sensitive to sensory input ( sound, sight, smells, touch)
            – difficulty “connecting the dots” of social life
            – rigid, inflexible & rule bound behaviours
            – often anxious and/or depressed
            – poor organizational skills
            – clumsy or awkward motor skills
            – dyslexia, writing problems
 Asperger’s Syndrome as described by the mother of a child with the  disorder:
            “These kids are not unconnected. They’re not unemotional. They just  don’t have the innate ability to pick up cues from the environment like  most children. They
              have a hard time reading voice tones, facial  expressions and abstract language.”
            There are no “hard” diagnostic tests for Asperger’s. The diagnosis is made through observation and reports from parents, teachers, etc. The majority of children with Asperger’s are diagnosed between the ages of 5 and 11 although a diagnosis may not be made until adulthood.
            There is no cure for AS, however there are interventions that can yield positive results:           
                                                – parental education
                                                – teacher education
                                                – behavioural approaches
                                                – training of social skills (IBI, ABA)
                                                – medications for hyperactivity, irritability, aggression,  compulsions, anxiety, depression
What Can a Parent Do?
            1. have your child evaluated by a qualified medical doctor
            2. develop an Individual Education Plan (IEP) with your child’s school
            3. ensure ALL adults working with your child are educated about Asperger’s  Syndrome
            4. think about “where do you want your child to be in the next 5, 10, 15 years and plan and teach him/her the required skills
Individuals with Asperger’s Syndrome perceive the world differently and many behaviours that seem odd, unusual or inappropriate are due to neurological differences and are NOT the result of intentional rudeness or bad behaviour and are most certainly not the result of bad parenting


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A program for children with reading problems

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2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca


Parents' Comments

“Our daughter was the joy of our life until she turned 13, then all hell broke loose. Rick helped us understand what was happening to her and we made some adjustments that helped us get through it. She’s now in University and doing well.”

(D.A. – St. Thomas)