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"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

Early intervention is always better than crisis management - but it is never too late to do the right thing.

Hurt people hurt people.

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

If there is no relationship - nothing else matters !

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

"To be a man, a boy must see a man."  (J.R. Moehringer)

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Aspergers

 
Asperger’s Syndrome
 
What is it?
            Asperger’s Syndrome is a neurobiological disorder that results in behavioural characteristics that are best described as “odd” or “eccentric”. The cause is not
 known although there appears to be a strong genetic component as it has a high heritability rate. There is no cure. There are, however interventions that can yield
positive results.
 
History
Dr. Hans Asperger (Austrian pediatrician and psychiatrist) observed 4 children in his practice in 1944 who had difficulty integrating socially. The intelligence of these children appeared to be normal, however they lacked nonverbal communication skills.  Dr. Asperger described it as a “condition primarily marked by social isolation”.
 
Characteristics
            – average to superior intelligence
            – perceived by others as being “odd”,” eccentric”
            – socially naive – often taken advantage of, rejected or bullied
            – unaware of other’s thoughts, feelings or perceptions resulting in appearing rude or inconsiderate
            – difficulty in initiating & maintaining close relationships & friends despite desiring to do so
            -problems reading non verbal or social cues and understanding social rules
            – inappropriate or insensitive social behaviours
            – will play with others but “on their terms” or not at all
            – literal interpretation of communication from others -eg. “I have a splitting headache”
            -speech is used primarily for delivering information or requesting something (not as a way of interacting socially)
            – inability to small talk – one sided conversations (centered on self)
            – long winded about their favourite interests
            – may sound like a “little professor”
            – uses repetitive phrases
            – detail oriented – may miss the “big picture”
            – superior ability to focus on favoured areas of interests
            – difficulty using language in a social context
            – exaggerated emotional response to situations (eg. temper tantrums, crying)
            – hyper sensitive to sensory input ( sound, sight, smells, touch)
            – difficulty “connecting the dots” of social life
            – rigid, inflexible & rule bound behaviours
            – often anxious and/or depressed
            – poor organizational skills
            – clumsy or awkward motor skills
            – dyslexia, writing problems
 
 Asperger’s Syndrome as described by the mother of a child with the  disorder:
            “These kids are not unconnected. They’re not unemotional. They just  don’t have the innate ability to pick up cues from the environment like  most children. They
              have a hard time reading voice tones, facial  expressions and abstract language.”
 
 
 
Diagnosis
            There are no “hard” diagnostic tests for Asperger’s. The diagnosis is made through observation and reports from parents, teachers, etc. The majority of children with Asperger’s are diagnosed between the ages of 5 and 11 although a diagnosis may not be made until adulthood.
 
Treatment
            There is no cure for AS, however there are interventions that can yield positive results:           
                                                – parental education
                                                – teacher education
                                                – behavioural approaches
                                                – training of social skills (IBI, ABA)
                                                – medications for hyperactivity, irritability, aggression,  compulsions, anxiety, depression
 
 
What Can a Parent Do?
            1. have your child evaluated by a qualified medical doctor
            2. develop an Individual Education Plan (IEP) with your child’s school
            3. ensure ALL adults working with your child are educated about Asperger’s  Syndrome
            4. think about “where do you want your child to be in the next 5, 10, 15 years and plan and teach him/her the required skills
 
Individuals with Asperger’s Syndrome perceive the world differently and many behaviours that seem odd, unusual or inappropriate are due to neurological differences and are NOT the result of intentional rudeness or bad behaviour and are most certainly not the result of bad parenting

 

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“I am no longer overwhelmed with a child who has unending discipline and behaviour problems.”

(P.S. – London)