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The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless.  ( Tori Amos)

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

"Parents aren't the cause of ADHD, but they are part of the solution." (Kenny Handleman, M.D.)

Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

Children today are under enormous pressures rarely experienced by their parents or grandparents. Many of today's children are being enticed to grow up too quickly and are encountering challenges for which they are totally unprepared.

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

Learn more.

Arguing

 

 
 
 
 
 
ARGUING

 

 A child can only argue with someone who is willing to argue with him.

 Children only argue with adults who take the bait.

CONTROLLING ARGUING

When he/she starts to argue

1. give him a choice: “either stay her and stop arguing”

OR

“go someplace else in the house and argue with yourself

no yelling, no anger, no time-out, no arguing

– you are giving him a choice with wide parameters

(if he continues arguing and he probably will)

 

 2. take away his best previous choice (“staying here” and replace it with a less preferable one): – “either go someplace else and argue”

OR

“go to your room”

– no yelling, anger or arguing

you are continuing to give choices but the parameters are becoming narrower

(if he continues)

3. keep taking away the best option and replace it with a less preferable option:– “either go to your room

OR

“time out”

4. other options

OR      “no TV”

“ fine”

“take away a treasure”

“withdrawal of privileges”

Our hope is that the child will learn to make good decisions for himself – or you will !


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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“I wish we had found Rick 2 years ago. We could have saved ourselves and our son a lot of trouble.”

(T.T. – Byron)