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Criticism is not a motivator.

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

"To be a man, a boy must see a man."  (J.R. Moehringer)

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

Children today are under enormous pressures rarely experienced by their parents or grandparents. Many of today's children are being enticed to grow up too quickly and are encountering challenges for which they are totally unprepared.

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ADHD – A Frustrated Parent

The following is a quote from a parent that  is both very frustrated and at the same time very concerned about her son.

“I can’t take it anymore! We scream all morning to get out of the house. Homework takes hours. If I don’t help him with his work, he’s so disorganized that he’ll never get it done. If I do help him, he screams at me. Since he never finishes anything, everyone thinks he doesn’t care. No matter how much we beg, or punish, he keeps doing the same stupid things over and over again. He never considers the consequences of his actions, and he doesn’t seem to care if they hurt me. It’s so easy for him to get overwhelmed. He is so inflexible, and then blows up over anything. It gets me so angry that I scream back, which makes everything even worse. Now that he’s getting older, the lies and the cursing is getting worse, too. I know he has trouble paying attention, but why does he have all these other problems as well?”

Words that often describe the feeling that parents of children with ADHD / ADD have include:

  • frustrated
  • stressed out
  • frightened
  • angry
  • exhausted
  • discouraged
  • burned out
  • worried
  • overwhelmed
  • confused
  • inadequate
  • embarrassed
  • trapped
  • helpless
  • hopeless

These feelings are real and parents need to have a safe place to express them but they also need to understand that they must  discover a way to manage those feelings. The best way to do that is to figure out the best way to manage your child’s symptoms.

Behavioural Management Systems has been helping families figure out the best way to manage their children’s behaviour for over 40 years.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“I wish we had found Rick 2 years ago. We could have saved ourselves and our son a lot of trouble.”

(T.T. – Byron)