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Me in a nutshell. LINKS
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Ideas and suggestions on "how to".

Children today are under enormous pressures rarely experienced by their parents or grandparents. Many of today's children are being enticed to grow up too quickly and are encountering challenges for which they are totally unprepared.

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

A tantruming toddler is a little ball of writhing muscle and incredible strength. It's like trying to carry a greased pig past a slop bucket.

Wouldn't it be nice if children would simply listen and learn.

"Rules without relationship leads to rebellion" (Josh McDowell)

There has been an explosion in the prescribing of medication for very young children, particularly preschool and kindergarten boys (Juli Zito , Univ. of Maryland)

"Cutting" is a visible sign to the world that you are hurting.

The mistake that Sharon and I both made is we never set any boundaries. (Ozzy Osbourne)

"The thing that impresses me most about North America is the way parents obey their children" (King Edward VII , 1841-1910)

The best inheritance parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

Good parenting requires sacrifice. Childhood lasts for only a few brief years , but it should be given priority while it is passing before your eyes

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

"Moody" and "unpredictable" are adjectives parents will often use when referring to their teenagers.

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

The more 2 parents differ in their approaches to discipline, the more likely it leads to trouble for the child.

If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

"To be a man, a boy must see a man." (J.R. Moehringer)

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

Being a parent of a teenager can cure a person of narcissism.

The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. (Peggy O'Mara)

Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

Hurt people hurt people.

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

Children fare better when expectations on them are clear and firm.

Parenting style matters - a lot!

Early intervention is always better than crisis management - but it is never too late to do the right thing.

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

If it was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called "labour".

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless. ( Tori Amos)

If there is no relationship - nothing else matters !

"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

Simple rules adhered to when children are young can prevent more serious problems later.

Relationships matter: change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

If you are headed in the wrong direction as a parent - you are allowed to make a U-turn.

Criticism is not a motivator.

"Parents aren't the cause of ADHD, but they are part of the solution." (Kenny Handleman, M.D.)

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

Learn more.

About Rick

Rick is a retired school teacher with 32 years classroom experience. The vast majority of those years was working with special needs children ranging in age from 4 to 21 and diagnosed with conditions such as:

Learning disabled
Psychiatric disorders eg. ADHD, Tourettes syndrome, conduct disorder, autism, obsessive compulsive disorder, etc
Developmentally disabled
Emotionally disturbed
Young offenders
Chronically & Terminally ill
Physically disabled

He has taught classrooms within:

Children’s mental health treatment centres
Detention centres
Hospitals
Residential institutions
Regular schools
professor at Fanshawe College

Rick began his own consulting business in 1995 dedicated to training parents how to assess and manage their own children’s behaviour problems in their own home. A significant part of this business is conducting workshops for:

School boards
Children’s Aid Societies
Community colleges
Day care centres
Church groups

Rick and his wife Marlene have 2 grown children and are long time foster parents who have opened their home to many special needs children ranging in age from newborns to teens.

Rick’s entire professional life has been devoted to helping kids who have significant behaviour problems. His goal has been to take the theories developed by the academics and figure out practical ways to implement them in ordinary homes and classrooms.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

Learn more

+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

Learn more

+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

Learn more

+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

Learn more

See more of our workshops

Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

Parents' Comments

“We are foster parents who took in a 13 year old girl (going on 18!) and she ran us through the wringer. Rick helped us learn how to set limits that made the difference.”

(G.E. – Strathroy)

Parenting is the most important job you will ever do.

It can also be the most difficult!

Children today are under enormous pressures rarely experienced by their parents or grandparents. Many of today's children are being enticed to grow up too quickly and are encountering challenges for which they are totally unprepared.

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

A tantruming toddler is a little ball of writhing muscle and incredible strength. It's like trying to carry a greased pig past a slop bucket.

Wouldn't it be nice if children would simply listen and learn.

"Rules without relationship leads to rebellion" (Josh McDowell)

There has been an explosion in the prescribing of medication for very young children, particularly preschool and kindergarten boys (Juli Zito , Univ. of Maryland)

"Cutting" is a visible sign to the world that you are hurting.

The mistake that Sharon and I both made is we never set any boundaries. (Ozzy Osbourne)

"The thing that impresses me most about North America is the way parents obey their children" (King Edward VII , 1841-1910)

The best inheritance parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

Good parenting requires sacrifice. Childhood lasts for only a few brief years , but it should be given priority while it is passing before your eyes

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

"Moody" and "unpredictable" are adjectives parents will often use when referring to their teenagers.

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

The more 2 parents differ in their approaches to discipline, the more likely it leads to trouble for the child.

If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

"To be a man, a boy must see a man." (J.R. Moehringer)

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

Being a parent of a teenager can cure a person of narcissism.

The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. (Peggy O'Mara)

Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

Hurt people hurt people.

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

Children fare better when expectations on them are clear and firm.

Parenting style matters - a lot!

Early intervention is always better than crisis management - but it is never too late to do the right thing.

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

If it was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called "labour".

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless. ( Tori Amos)

If there is no relationship - nothing else matters !

"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

Simple rules adhered to when children are young can prevent more serious problems later.

Relationships matter: change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

If you are headed in the wrong direction as a parent - you are allowed to make a U-turn.

Criticism is not a motivator.

"Parents aren't the cause of ADHD, but they are part of the solution." (Kenny Handleman, M.D.)

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

About Rick

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Workshops

Contact

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Parents' Comments