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If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

If it  was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called "labour".

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. (Peggy O'Mara)

"Parents aren't the cause of ADHD, but they are part of the solution." (Kenny Handleman, M.D.)

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

Children fare better when expectations on them are clear and firm.

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

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Where to begin looking for help

What options does a parent have when seeking help for their child’s behaviour problems?

Parents who ask for my help have usually experienced many of the following emotions:

  • frustration
  • misunderstood
  • confused
  • overwhelmed
  • exhausted
  • bewildered
  • angry
  • guilty
  • inadequate
  • isolated
  • vulnerable
  • trapped
  • embarrassed
  • helpless
  • hopeless

This is not a fun place for a parent to be and not a healthy place for a child to grow. I am not usually the first person that parents ask to help. In fact there are lots of people that offer advice on how to deal with behaviour problems. So many people with so many ideas, that it can be mind blogging just to know where to begin looking for help. Often times the help one expert suggests is completely contradictory to another equally qualified expert. How is a parent to know where to begin ?

I offer the following suggestion:

Listen to the advice from everyone you can and then filter it through your knowledge of your own child and your understanding of your own particular strengths and weaknesses. Discard the advice that does not line up with your family’s needs, values and abilities and consider the advise that makes sense to you.

What parents need most are ideas, so they can look at their options and decide what is best for their own child.

Rick Harper has been providing ideas to parents for over 40 years !

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“He is a wealth of knowledge coupled with first hand experience.”

(E.K. – London)