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The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

The mistake that Sharon and I both made is we never set any boundaries.  (Ozzy Osbourne)

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

"Moody" and "unpredictable" are adjectives parents will often use when referring to their teenagers.

If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

Criticism is not a motivator.

Learn more.

Helping a Teen Moderate Stress

 
HELPING A TEEN MODERATE & MANAGE STRESS
                          “SPIT”  HAPPENS !
 
1. Listen                
                  – without judging
                  – try to understand and appreciate their concern
                  – if event resulted from bad behaviour or poor judgment – it’s vital to avoid making matters worse by berating and punishing
                               without taking corrective action
                  – critical that teen know you are on his/her side
 
2. Don’t Minimize
                  – be empathetic & open
                  – what might be “No Big Deal” to you may be to him/her
 
3. Be a Reality Check
                  – this is balancing empathy
                  – do not allow his/her unrealistic negative thoughts to dominate
                  – important to move past the “victim” role
 
4. Give Space
                  – teen needs a safe place to feel bad and express those  feelings
                  – “we’ll get through this”

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Our psychiatrist recommended Rick to help us sort out behaviour management issues for our autistic son. He was an invaluable help.”

(C.C. – Sarnia)