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Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

Criticism is not a motivator.

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

Children today are under enormous pressures rarely experienced by their parents or grandparents. Many of today's children are being enticed to grow up too quickly and are encountering challenges for which they are totally unprepared.

Early intervention is always better than crisis management - but it is never too late to do the right thing.

If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

"To be a man, a boy must see a man."  (J.R. Moehringer)

The more 2 parents differ in their approaches to discipline, the more likely it leads to trouble for the child.

If it  was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called "labour".

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

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THE VICIOUS CYCLE OF BEHAVIOUR PROBLEMS

 

A “vicious cycle of behaviour problems” begins when a child repeatedly performs an inappropriate behaviour and the parent’s attempt to manage it is unsuccessful. The behaviour is repeated many times over a period of time with the results being:

  1. management strategy continues to be less than successful
  2. parent gets angry
  3. the child continues the behaviour
  4. child gets “locked in” and shows no sign of wanting to cooperate
  5. parent gets “locked in” to a strategy that isn’t working

The end results of this cycle are:

  1. the parent’s authority gradually decreases
  2. the child’s “sense of control” increases
  3. the relationship between the parents and the child suffers greatly
  4. “I love my kid, but I really don’t like him much”

The solution to the “vicious cycle of behaviour problems” is for the parent to objectively evaluate their own response to the inappropriate behaviours and consider another response. What parents need most are ideas, because with ideas we get options. Rick Harper has been providing ideas to parents for over 35 years.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Our psychiatrist recommended Rick to help us sort out behaviour management issues for our autistic son. He was an invaluable help.”

(C.C. – Sarnia)