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Parenting style matters - a lot!

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

If you are headed in the wrong direction as a parent - you are allowed to make a U-turn.

Good parenting requires sacrifice. Childhood lasts for only a few brief years , but it should be given priority while it is passing before your eyes

The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. (Peggy O'Mara)

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless.  ( Tori Amos)

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

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10 Things to Know About an Angry Brain

 

I recently had the pleasure of attending a full day workshop entitled “Healing the Angry Brain” presented by Dr. Ron Potter-Efron from Wisconsin. He informed and entertained a large group of mental health professionals about his research and clinical experiences of working with clients dealing with significant anger, hostility, aggression and rage issues.He emphasized that there is not a one size fits all approach to treatment as each person’s anger experience is unique. One part of his presentation was titled “10 Things to Know About the Angry Brain”:

  1. Think of the brain as a survival machine and anger as a survival enhancing emotion.
  2. Much anger is defensive and protective – derived from and maintained by perceived threats.
  3. A core sense of safety is ultimately the best anger inhibitor.
  4. Anger is usually turned on unconsciously but may be turned off consciously.
  5. People with angry brains often have: a) very distorted or selective memories b) inaccurate interpretations of the present c) unrealistic expectations about the future – all of which trigger defensiveness and anger.
  6. The principles of neuroplasticity apply to the angry brain.
  7. People with angry brains are continually training themselves to become more angry.
  8. Positive interactive circuits must be developed to replace negative ones.
  9. Changing the angry brain involves people changing their lives, not just their anger.
  10. Anger is a social experience and must be treated in the context of a person’s entire life.

Ron went on to present a number of therapeutic approaches to assist clients and he finished with this optimistic summary:

  • angry people have angry brains
  • angry people can change their brains
  • doing so greatly improves their lives
  • so the likelihood for relapse to anger is relatively low
  • we can help people change their angry brains

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Our daughter was the joy of our life until she turned 13, then all hell broke loose. Rick helped us understand what was happening to her and we made some adjustments that helped us get through it. She’s now in University and doing well.”

(D.A. – St. Thomas)