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Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

Children fare better when expectations on them are clear and firm.

The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. (Peggy O'Mara)

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

If you are headed in the wrong direction as a parent - you are allowed to make a U-turn.

Wouldn't it be nice if children would simply listen and learn.

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

"The thing that impresses me most about North America is the way parents obey their children"    (King Edward VII , 1841-1910)

The more 2 parents differ in their approaches to discipline, the more likely it leads to trouble for the child.

Learn more.

Types of Temper Tantrums

There are 2 types of tantrums:

  1. manipulative (child is trying to get his own way – conscious, planned, controlled)
  2. temperamental (child can’t help it – he is truly “out of control”)

Both types can look the same and one form can lead into another. A temperamental tantrum acquires a manipulative quality when the child comes to understand the value of what he’s is doing.

Guidelines to Help Distinguish the Two Types

  • the manipulative tantrum is typically less intense
  • the manipulative tantrum is clearly the result of the child not getting something he wants
  • the motive is obvious for manipulative tantrums – you don’t need to look very hard to find it
  • the temperament tantrum relates to an underlying temperamental issue
  • you typically feel sorry for a child having a temperamental tantrum because “he can’t help it”
  • a manipulative tantrum feels like he’s trying to get his own way

Next post – handling a “manipulative” tantrum.

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Workshops

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This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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