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The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

The mistake that Sharon and I both made is we never set any boundaries.  (Ozzy Osbourne)

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

"Rules without relationship leads to rebellion" (Josh McDowell)

Wouldn't it be nice if children would simply listen and learn.

Criticism is not a motivator.

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

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“Alternative” Approaches

The preceding 5 approaches could be described as the “conventional” approaches to changing behaviour. There are of course other directions one could look, but they would be categorized more as “alternative” approaches. I do not mean to belittle them in any way, it is just that they are more “outside the box” and they generally do not have the degree of independent and peer reviewed research to provide evidence of their effectiveness.

Examples of these “alternative” approaches include:

  • chiropractic skeletal adjustments
  • magnet therapy
  • nutritional supplements
  • colour therapy
  • “healing” circles
  • hypnosis
  • meditation
  • and many other

There are unquestionably many honest and sincere anecdotal reports claiming the merits of these approaches, but they represent initiatives beyond the scope of my postings.

Next posting – What is the Best Option?

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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Parents' Comments

“We were so naive. We thought our son’s poor behaviour was just a phase he was passing through. Thankfully you led us ‘out of the wilderness'”

(N.S. – London)