welcome image

Hurt people hurt people.

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

A tantruming toddler is a little ball of writhing muscle and incredible strength. It's like trying to carry a greased pig past a slop bucket.

"The thing that impresses me most about North America is the way parents obey their children"    (King Edward VII , 1841-1910)

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

The mistake that Sharon and I both made is we never set any boundaries.  (Ozzy Osbourne)

Being a parent of a teenager can cure a person of narcissism.

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

Learn more.

“Alternative” Approaches

The preceding 5 approaches could be described as the “conventional” approaches to changing behaviour. There are of course other directions one could look, but they would be categorized more as “alternative” approaches. I do not mean to belittle them in any way, it is just that they are more “outside the box” and they generally do not have the degree of independent and peer reviewed research to provide evidence of their effectiveness. Examples of these […]

Read complete blog post

The “Skills Acquisition” Approach

The skills acquisition approach assumes that the source of the behaviour problems lie in a skills deficit. This means that the child cannot do something or doesn’t know something that directly leads into an inappropriate behaviour. The skills acquisition people state that once the child learns the missing skill, the undesirable behaviors will fade away, therefore the solution lies in determining what skill(s) is lacking and developing a plan to teach it. An obvious example […]

Read complete blog post

Counselling

Another option commonly pursued in finding solutions to children’s behaviour problems is counselling. The approaches in this grouping represent very broad and divergent directions, but all of them employ communication between a therapist and the client. At one extreme end of the counselling continuum we have psychotherapy. Theories developed by Sigmund Freud and his adherents believe that the root cause of  person’s inappropriate behaviours lie in unresolved conflicts in the client’s past (frequently involving mother!). […]

Read complete blog post

The “Biochemical” Option

Assuming the doctor has not found a “clearly definable” medical problem, another option to consider is biochemical. The words you use to describe your child’s behaviour may suggest to the doctor that there is a problem with the biochemistry of the brain. Brain chemistry abnormalities is theorized to be the cause of many disorders that result in behaviour problems. Conditions such as ADHD, conduct disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, depression and dozens of others are believed […]

Read complete blog post

The 5 “Conventional” Options

All the ideas regarding treating behavioural problems from the “conventional” experts could be placed into 1 of 5 broad categories. 1. medical 2. biochemical 3. counselling 4. skills acquisition 5. behavioural The next series of blog entries will summarize what these categories entail. 1. Medical One of experts that parents turn to for help is often the child’s pediatrician. During the office appointment the parent describes the behaviours of concern and the doctor will probably […]

Read complete blog post


Back to Top

Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

Learn more

+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

Learn more

+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

Learn more

+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

Learn more

+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

Learn more

See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

Archive


Parents' Comments

“Rick’s approach is so logical. He helped us clearly define the problem, analyze what has happened and select the best strategy. We now feel empowered to do something positive for our kid”

(A.N. – Tillsonburg)