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"Rules without relationship leads to rebellion" (Josh McDowell)

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

The mistake that Sharon and I both made is we never set any boundaries.  (Ozzy Osbourne)

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

Hurt people hurt people.

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11 Problems Associated with Providing Foster Care to “Disturbed” Children

1. removal from the “maltreating” home is delayed
2. “maltreating” parents continue to sabotage current placement
3. increase in severity of disturbance in today’s foster / adopted children
4. inadequate preparation and follow-up support to foster /  adoption parents
5. failure to equip foster / adoption parents with practical   therapeutic strategies
6. foster / adoption parents receive a “disturbed” child, and are then later misperceived that they might  be the source of the child’s disturbance
7. the foster / adopted families are excluded from the “treatment team” though they are the ones who  often know the child best and who have the greatest  therapeutic impact on them
8. foster parents are given the most responsibility and  the least amount of authority
9. foster parents are asked to become intimately involved with the child, yet are “chastised” if they become “overly zealous advocates” for the  child
10. little or no respite care to allow for parent refueling
11. the “experts” don’t have the answers
 
OVERCOMING ATTACHMENT DISORDER IS NO EASY TASK –
THE REWARDS HOWEVER LAST A LIFETIME
 

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“We are foster parents who took in a 13 year old girl (going on 18!) and she ran us through the wringer. Rick helped us learn how to set limits that made the difference.”

(G.E. – Strathroy)