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Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

"Parents aren't the cause of ADHD, but they are part of the solution." (Kenny Handleman, M.D.)

"To be a man, a boy must see a man."  (J.R. Moehringer)

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

If you are headed in the wrong direction as a parent - you are allowed to make a U-turn.

Parenting style matters - a lot!

Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

Criticism is not a motivator.

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

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10 Things to Know About an Angry Brain

 

I recently had the pleasure of attending a full day workshop entitled “Healing the Angry Brain” presented by Dr. Ron Potter-Efron from Wisconsin. He informed and entertained a large group of mental health professionals about his research and clinical experiences of working with clients dealing with significant anger, hostility, aggression and rage issues.He emphasized that there is not a one size fits all approach to treatment as each person’s anger experience is unique. One part of his presentation was titled “10 Things to Know About the Angry Brain”:

  1. Think of the brain as a survival machine and anger as a survival enhancing emotion.
  2. Much anger is defensive and protective – derived from and maintained by perceived threats.
  3. A core sense of safety is ultimately the best anger inhibitor.
  4. Anger is usually turned on unconsciously but may be turned off consciously.
  5. People with angry brains often have: a) very distorted or selective memories b) inaccurate interpretations of the present c) unrealistic expectations about the future – all of which trigger defensiveness and anger.
  6. The principles of neuroplasticity apply to the angry brain.
  7. People with angry brains are continually training themselves to become more angry.
  8. Positive interactive circuits must be developed to replace negative ones.
  9. Changing the angry brain involves people changing their lives, not just their anger.
  10. Anger is a social experience and must be treated in the context of a person’s entire life.

Ron went on to present a number of therapeutic approaches to assist clients and he finished with this optimistic summary:

  • angry people have angry brains
  • angry people can change their brains
  • doing so greatly improves their lives
  • so the likelihood for relapse to anger is relatively low
  • we can help people change their angry brains

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“I am no longer overwhelmed with a child who has unending discipline and behaviour problems.”

(P.S. – London)