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Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

"To be a man, a boy must see a man."  (J.R. Moehringer)

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

A tantruming toddler is a little ball of writhing muscle and incredible strength. It's like trying to carry a greased pig past a slop bucket.

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

There has been an explosion in the prescribing of medication for very young children, particularly preschool and kindergarten boys (Juli Zito , Univ. of Maryland)

The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. (Peggy O'Mara)

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Where to begin looking for help

What options does a parent have when seeking help for their child’s behaviour problems?

Parents who ask for my help have usually experienced many of the following emotions:

  • frustration
  • misunderstood
  • confused
  • overwhelmed
  • exhausted
  • bewildered
  • angry
  • guilty
  • inadequate
  • isolated
  • vulnerable
  • trapped
  • embarrassed
  • helpless
  • hopeless

This is not a fun place for a parent to be and not a healthy place for a child to grow. I am not usually the first person that parents ask to help. In fact there are lots of people that offer advice on how to deal with behaviour problems. So many people with so many ideas, that it can be mind blogging just to know where to begin looking for help. Often times the help one expert suggests is completely contradictory to another equally qualified expert. How is a parent to know where to begin ?

I offer the following suggestion:

Listen to the advice from everyone you can and then filter it through your knowledge of your own child and your understanding of your own particular strengths and weaknesses. Discard the advice that does not line up with your family’s needs, values and abilities and consider the advise that makes sense to you.

What parents need most are ideas, so they can look at their options and decide what is best for their own child.

Rick Harper has been providing ideas to parents for over 40 years !

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Our psychiatrist recommended Rick to help us sort out behaviour management issues for our autistic son. He was an invaluable help.”

(C.C. – Sarnia)