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It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

Hurt people hurt people.

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

If you are headed in the wrong direction as a parent - you are allowed to make a U-turn.

If there is no relationship - nothing else matters !

"To be a man, a boy must see a man."  (J.R. Moehringer)

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

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Where to begin looking for help

What options does a parent have when seeking help for their child’s behaviour problems?

Parents who ask for my help have usually experienced many of the following emotions:

  • frustration
  • misunderstood
  • confused
  • overwhelmed
  • exhausted
  • bewildered
  • angry
  • guilty
  • inadequate
  • isolated
  • vulnerable
  • trapped
  • embarrassed
  • helpless
  • hopeless

This is not a fun place for a parent to be and not a healthy place for a child to grow. I am not usually the first person that parents ask to help. In fact there are lots of people that offer advice on how to deal with behaviour problems. So many people with so many ideas, that it can be mind blogging just to know where to begin looking for help. Often times the help one expert suggests is completely contradictory to another equally qualified expert. How is a parent to know where to begin ?

I offer the following suggestion:

Listen to the advice from everyone you can and then filter it through your knowledge of your own child and your understanding of your own particular strengths and weaknesses. Discard the advice that does not line up with your family’s needs, values and abilities and consider the advise that makes sense to you.

What parents need most are ideas, so they can look at their options and decide what is best for their own child.

Rick Harper has been providing ideas to parents for over 40 years !

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Implementing Rick’s techniques and adhering to them is exhausting, but it is a healthy exhaustion rather than the detrimental exhaustion I used to experience.”

(B.F. – Woodstock)