welcome image

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless.  ( Tori Amos)

If you are headed in the wrong direction as a parent - you are allowed to make a U-turn.

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

"Parents aren't the cause of ADHD, but they are part of the solution." (Kenny Handleman, M.D.)

The more 2 parents differ in their approaches to discipline, the more likely it leads to trouble for the child.

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

The best inheritance  parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.

Learn more.

What is the Best Option for My Child?

The best option is the one that will work for your child. Each one of the approaches has strengths and weaknesses and each could be the “best” or the “worst” depending on specific circumstances. No one of the approaches will meet the needs of all children.

In my opinion, the best course of action for a concerned parent may be to combine several options. The child’s pediatrician should be involved looking for abnormal medical conditions and explaining medication options to the parent. The child may very well have ideas bouncing around in his head that a counsellor could help him sort out and there may be skill deficits that could be corrected with specific remediation.

No matter which combination of approaches you assemble,you will already be using the behavioural approach as you interact with him/her on a day to day basis. The question however is “Are my interactions helping or hindering my child?”

The noted psychologist, Abraham Maslow (Hierarchy of Needs) is quoted as saying “If you’re good with a hammer, everything you see tends to look like a nail”. This quote is relevant for our purpose of determining which approach is best suited for your child because as you talk with different experts, you will undoubtedly hear very different recommendations based on the experts particular specialty, experiences, biases, etc. (in other words “his hammer”)

This explains why you will get such diverse advice from different experts even when they talk about the SAME child:

- “you need to be firmer and more consistent”

- “you’re to strict – loosen up”

- “his behaviour is an expression of his emerging will and sense of self”

- “he has a central auditory processing problem and he needs speech and                          language therapy”

- “give him these pills”

- “it’s just a phase, he’ll grow out of it”

- “he’s just like his father”

No wonder we parents get confused. Even the experts don’t agree!

Back to Top


+ Behaviour Management

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you [...]

Learn more

+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First [...]

Learn more

+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain [...]

Learn more

+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

Learn more

+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

Learn more

See more of our workshops


2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca


Parents' Comments

“We are foster parents who took in a 13 year old girl (going on 18!) and she ran us through the wringer. Rick helped us learn how to set limits that made the difference.”

(G.E. – Strathroy)