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Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

The mistake that Sharon and I both made is we never set any boundaries.  (Ozzy Osbourne)

Simple rules adhered to when children are young can prevent more serious problems later.

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless.  ( Tori Amos)

"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

A tantruming toddler is a little ball of writhing muscle and incredible strength. It's like trying to carry a greased pig past a slop bucket.

Children fare better when expectations on them are clear and firm.

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

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What is the Best Option for My Child?

The best option is the one that will work for your child. Each one of the approaches has strengths and weaknesses and each could be the “best” or the “worst” depending on specific circumstances. No one of the approaches will meet the needs of all children.

In my opinion, the best course of action for a concerned parent may be to combine several options. The child’s pediatrician should be involved looking for abnormal medical conditions and explaining medication options to the parent. The child may very well have ideas bouncing around in his head that a counsellor could help him sort out and there may be skill deficits that could be corrected with specific remediation.

No matter which combination of approaches you assemble,you will already be using the behavioural approach as you interact with him/her on a day to day basis. The question however is “Are my interactions helping or hindering my child?”

The noted psychologist, Abraham Maslow (Hierarchy of Needs) is quoted as saying “If you’re good with a hammer, everything you see tends to look like a nail”. This quote is relevant for our purpose of determining which approach is best suited for your child because as you talk with different experts, you will undoubtedly hear very different recommendations based on the experts particular specialty, experiences, biases, etc. (in other words “his hammer”)

This explains why you will get such diverse advice from different experts even when they talk about the SAME child:

– “you need to be firmer and more consistent”

– “you’re to strict – loosen up”

– “his behaviour is an expression of his emerging will and sense of self”

– “he has a central auditory processing problem and he needs speech and                          language therapy”

– “give him these pills”

– “it’s just a phase, he’ll grow out of it”

– “he’s just like his father”

No wonder we parents get confused. Even the experts don’t agree!

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“We were so naive. We thought our son’s poor behaviour was just a phase he was passing through. Thankfully you led us ‘out of the wilderness'”

(N.S. – London)