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If you are headed in the wrong direction as a parent - you are allowed to make a U-turn.

Criticism is not a motivator.

Parenting style matters - a lot!

Children fare better when expectations on them are clear and firm.

"Cutting" is a visible sign to the world that you are hurting.

"Moody" and "unpredictable" are adjectives parents will often use when referring to their teenagers.

A tantruming toddler is a little ball of writhing muscle and incredible strength. It's like trying to carry a greased pig past a slop bucket.

If it  was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called "labour".

The best inheritance  parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.

Early intervention is always better than crisis management - but it is never too late to do the right thing.

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Tantrums (9 months to 18 months)

Temper tantrums should be expected to begin at this age. There will be a sudden explosion of tears and crying. He may throw himself to the ground, stiffen his body and clench his fist. You should attempt to determine the child’s “goal” for the tantrum. If his “goal” is reasonable (eg. hunger, boredom, discomfort, etc.) you should instruct the child in more appropriate methods by which he can achieve his goal and reinforce his future efforts to do as you have instructed. If his “goal” is unreasonable (eg. avoiding putting away his toys, attention seeking, etc.) you MUST ensure that your response does not reinforce the tantrum by “giving in”. “Giving in” will teach the child that he can control you in your home by having a tantrum. Attempt to teach the child a more appropriate way of dealing with the problem, but if it is obvious that this is not the “teachable moment”, hold off until later for your teaching time. The most effective response to unreasonable demands by a child of this age are “redirection”, “extinction”, and “wait out”. You should stay within eyesight of the child. If the tantrum was an attempt to avoid a task, ensure that the child follows through with the task once the tantrum has subsided.

Next post – dealing with tantrums from 18 months to 3 years

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Our daughter was the joy of our life until she turned 13, then all hell broke loose. Rick helped us understand what was happening to her and we made some adjustments that helped us get through it. She’s now in University and doing well.”

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