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The more 2 parents differ in their approaches to discipline, the more likely it leads to trouble for the child.

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless.  ( Tori Amos)

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

"The thing that impresses me most about North America is the way parents obey their children"    (King Edward VII , 1841-1910)

"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

Children today are under enormous pressures rarely experienced by their parents or grandparents. Many of today's children are being enticed to grow up too quickly and are encountering challenges for which they are totally unprepared.

Children fare better when expectations on them are clear and firm.

"Parents aren't the cause of ADHD, but they are part of the solution." (Kenny Handleman, M.D.)

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

Parenting style matters - a lot!

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Tantrums (9 months to 18 months)

Temper tantrums should be expected to begin at this age. There will be a sudden explosion of tears and crying. He may throw himself to the ground, stiffen his body and clench his fist. You should attempt to determine the child’s “goal” for the tantrum. If his “goal” is reasonable (eg. hunger, boredom, discomfort, etc.) you should instruct the child in more appropriate methods by which he can achieve his goal and reinforce his future efforts to do as you have instructed. If his “goal” is unreasonable (eg. avoiding putting away his toys, attention seeking, etc.) you MUST ensure that your response does not reinforce the tantrum by “giving in”. “Giving in” will teach the child that he can control you in your home by having a tantrum. Attempt to teach the child a more appropriate way of dealing with the problem, but if it is obvious that this is not the “teachable moment”, hold off until later for your teaching time. The most effective response to unreasonable demands by a child of this age are “redirection”, “extinction”, and “wait out”. You should stay within eyesight of the child. If the tantrum was an attempt to avoid a task, ensure that the child follows through with the task once the tantrum has subsided.

Next post – dealing with tantrums from 18 months to 3 years

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This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

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“We are foster parents who took in a 13 year old girl (going on 18!) and she ran us through the wringer. Rick helped us learn how to set limits that made the difference.”

(G.E. – Strathroy)