welcome image

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

"Rules without relationship leads to rebellion" (Josh McDowell)

Children fare better when expectations on them are clear and firm.

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

"Cutting" is a visible sign to the world that you are hurting.

"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

Parenting style matters - a lot!

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

Learn more.

Tantrums (9 months to 18 months)

Temper tantrums should be expected to begin at this age. There will be a sudden explosion of tears and crying. He may throw himself to the ground, stiffen his body and clench his fist. You should attempt to determine the child’s “goal” for the tantrum. If his “goal” is reasonable (eg. hunger, boredom, discomfort, etc.) you should instruct the child in more appropriate methods by which he can achieve his goal and reinforce his future efforts to do as you have instructed. If his “goal” is unreasonable (eg. avoiding putting away his toys, attention seeking, etc.) you MUST ensure that your response does not reinforce the tantrum by “giving in”. “Giving in” will teach the child that he can control you in your home by having a tantrum. Attempt to teach the child a more appropriate way of dealing with the problem, but if it is obvious that this is not the “teachable moment”, hold off until later for your teaching time. The most effective response to unreasonable demands by a child of this age are “redirection”, “extinction”, and “wait out”. You should stay within eyesight of the child. If the tantrum was an attempt to avoid a task, ensure that the child follows through with the task once the tantrum has subsided.

Next post – dealing with tantrums from 18 months to 3 years

Back to Top

Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

Learn more

+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

Learn more

+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

Learn more

+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

Learn more

+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

Learn more

See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

Archive


Parents' Comments

“He is a wealth of knowledge coupled with first hand experience.”

(E.K. – London)